BF, Crit and I are in Bar Harbor this weekend with our significant others. The three guys headed out yesterday morning to bike the Park Loop Road and bike up Cadillac. We usually stay at the Wonderview where the ride to the base is only 4 miles but this year we rented a house and due to some navigation issues we ended up riding 17 miles around the Park Loop Road to the base of Cadillac.
The three of us rode up Cadillac 4 years ago with Crit going up in 19:47, I went up in just over 24 and BF went up in about 30. All of our goals this year were to beat our previous times and be within 3:30 of each other.
We headed out in 2 minutes gaps with BF first, me second and Crit chasing both of us. I had a clear plan in place, go out easy and push as high as a gear as possible on the flats to leave me with easier gears to spin around the steep switch backs.
One of the reasons I need to go out easy is the 2nd to last left hand switch back always confuses me so for about 1/4 of a mile I think that is the last switch back. Unfortunately there is a sweeping right hand turn and a long hard climb to the last switch back. That is why my plan was ride out as easy as possible and leave some gas for the last 1 mile. I did this and of course the switch back still confused me at first but only for about 100 meters this time.
I went out a little hard for the first 500 meters and then backed off. I settled into a good rhythm and tried to focus on being in my 22 and 23 as much as possible so I could spin in my 25 on the steepest parts. Of course for half the ride I was cross eyed and praying someone would just tell me it was over but that didn't happen. I passed BF about a mile in standing on the side of road. He didn't have it but at least he was out there trying. Cadillac is definitely as much mental as physical!
My plan worked out well as I crossed the line in 20:50 and Crit never caught me. He had actually started about 2:30 behind me. He did post a personal best as well at 19:27. I was pretty happy to beat my personal best by over 3 minutes. I am not sure what happened except I had a different strategy, cooler weather and we rode at the end of the season instead of the beginning but I suspect a lot of it has to do with just having a good day. I wasn't even tired cycling up to the base even though there is a ton of climbing.
I am now convinced if I ride Cadillac at 195 I can break 20 and Crit is convinced he go under 19. BF is convinced that if he loses 25 pounds and has his new Serotta he will make it to the top.
Good times.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Does 1 person make a B ride?
I did 37 miles with BBB last night. There were about 30 people on the ride. I hadn't been on a fast group ride in 3 weeks and it felt like it but the weather was great.
I was fine until we hit Range Road which is a series of rollers and bad pavement. I was dropped off the main pack but still managed to beat 4 or 5 people to the fair grounds where we all re-group. My breathing was ok, not 100% but certainly better. My legs were not ready for it though.
Right after we stop there is a sizable hill and I got dropped again, I chased on over about 3 miles and got to sit in for 4 or 5 miles before Dutton Hill Rd. As the road name suggests yeah it is just a big hill. It sucked and I came over the top last. One of the most annoying things on these rides is when you see a person (man or woman) who can not weigh more than 120 pounds fly up these hills like they are not even trying. Damn skinny people! No offense Slim and Crit.
Everything was fine on the way back. We were on Blackstrap Rd when a car decided to pass the pack. Unfortunately they didn't accelerate much and all of the sudden they saw a truck coming. Instead of braking and pullling in behind us they braked just enough to not get by the pack. The truck had to pull in the ditch. At this point I backed off and let the pack go as the car was still sitting in the other lane and I could see 2 more cars coming down the hill. I was pretty sure someone was going to get hurt. All of the sudden I realized I was stuck in between the main pack and 4 or 5 people 50 meters behind me. The car in the left hand land continued to force the other cars off the road. Why not accelerate and get in front of us or simply brake and get behind us.
So there I am going up Blackstrap all alone. 50 meters behind the pack and 50 meters in front of the other pack. ARRRFFFF
I tried to chase on but in the end had to let the other riders catch me. Thankfully once we were over the hill I could pull the other riders back but apparently they didn't share my desire to bomb the hills at 40 mph to try and chase back on so I was constantly riding alone unless I decided to wait for the others.
All in all a good ride. I am hoping that this ride gets me ready for Saturday morning.
I was fine until we hit Range Road which is a series of rollers and bad pavement. I was dropped off the main pack but still managed to beat 4 or 5 people to the fair grounds where we all re-group. My breathing was ok, not 100% but certainly better. My legs were not ready for it though.
Right after we stop there is a sizable hill and I got dropped again, I chased on over about 3 miles and got to sit in for 4 or 5 miles before Dutton Hill Rd. As the road name suggests yeah it is just a big hill. It sucked and I came over the top last. One of the most annoying things on these rides is when you see a person (man or woman) who can not weigh more than 120 pounds fly up these hills like they are not even trying. Damn skinny people! No offense Slim and Crit.
Everything was fine on the way back. We were on Blackstrap Rd when a car decided to pass the pack. Unfortunately they didn't accelerate much and all of the sudden they saw a truck coming. Instead of braking and pullling in behind us they braked just enough to not get by the pack. The truck had to pull in the ditch. At this point I backed off and let the pack go as the car was still sitting in the other lane and I could see 2 more cars coming down the hill. I was pretty sure someone was going to get hurt. All of the sudden I realized I was stuck in between the main pack and 4 or 5 people 50 meters behind me. The car in the left hand land continued to force the other cars off the road. Why not accelerate and get in front of us or simply brake and get behind us.
So there I am going up Blackstrap all alone. 50 meters behind the pack and 50 meters in front of the other pack. ARRRFFFF
I tried to chase on but in the end had to let the other riders catch me. Thankfully once we were over the hill I could pull the other riders back but apparently they didn't share my desire to bomb the hills at 40 mph to try and chase back on so I was constantly riding alone unless I decided to wait for the others.
All in all a good ride. I am hoping that this ride gets me ready for Saturday morning.
BTW I am hoping to get a cycling computer for my birthday so I can start giving good stats for these rides.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Long overdue update
So I haven't posted in awhile and I thought I would simply recap my past months activities.
BW New Bike
The beautiful wife got an awesome road bike! The picture doesn't do it justice. All carbon fiber except for a carbon fiber/alu mix on the fork. It is in great shape and all we needed to replace right away was the saddle. Thank you EBAY! She also picked up a pair of Sidi 5.5's which are top of the line women's cycling shoes and a great helmet. Sadly though she is wearing one of my old SMCC jerseys.
We have been riding quite a few times (she went out with BF once when I broke my chain as well) and she is now over 100 miles with her longest ride being last nights 30 miler. We averaged 17 with some nice rollers and some long but not too steep hills. She is already getting strong and becoming more comfortable. I have even stopped looking back at every stop sign petrified she will not be able to clip out and hurt herself. The first couple rides were pretty stressful! I enjoy riding with her and the added miles is great for me. Here are the parts we will most likely change this winter:
Carbon handlebars with flat tops
Wheels--perhaps she will get the Rolf's and I will get new wheels this might have to wait but her current wheels are bricks
Rear Cassette--she is riding an 11-23 so we will either get her an 11-27 or a 12-25. This is a must change and will most likely happen before we go to Bar Harbor for Columbus Day weekend.
I would like her to be on a sub 19 lbs bike and these changes would probably get her closer to 18.5.
My Rides
I was sick/had allergies for a whole week almost a month ago now and it has been affecting my breathing ever since. I was dropped a few Saturday's ago and not even during a hard part of the ride. I literally couldn't catch my breath and my chest hurt, not heart attack hurt though. I could breath in fine but couldn't expel my breath normally. I then rode on a Thursday and after pulling over at one point to expel every piece of phlegm I had in my system I felt much better but my breathing still was not right. I stayed with the A ride all the way back and we were flying at between 22 to 38 even up the hills but I think that was simply adrenaline. It is much easier to ride when you can breath. I finally went to the doctor and they have me on a 30 day regimen of Claritin and an albuterol inhaler to see if I can get rid of the crap in my chest. It isn't bronchitis or anything like that so hopefully this will solve the issue. The good Dr. also thinks that all of my post nasal drip, vomiting issues are caused by allergies I have never dealt with. I hope she is right.
The results so far have been good but I have not pushed it extremely hard since I went to see the DR. last Thursday. This Thursday and Saturday will be the real tests as I am doing the BBB A ride and the SMCC Saturday ride with Critracer. I hope that I can breath this time!
My Bike
First of all I need to admit once and for all that I am jealous of my BW's nice new Bianchi! It is a great bike. So I immediately started researching new bikes for myself. I now know I want the Kuota Khan. I can not get a better picture of it off the Kuota site as it all Flash. Who knows if I will get one but at least I know what I want. It is designed to handle larger bikers who throw down the watts but don't necessarily compete in the sprints. All I know is it is really cool looking and super light!
In the meantime I have added FSA K-Force Carbon Cranks and a new FSA BB, a new Ultegra chain and front der. So now when I shift or have to get out of the saddle to climb hills my bike doesn't complain loudly like it is about to explode. I have also ordered new bearings for my Rolf Prima Vigor front wheel. It now looks like instead of buying a new bike/frame this winter I will probably invest in moving all my parts to 10 speed which would mean a new rear der, cassette and shifters. With all that being done my bike will weigh in at just under 18 lbs. Not bad at all for a nearly 10 year old Klein frame.
Poker
I have only played once since my last poker blog and here is a great summary:
Had terrible cards all night, made it to the final table without winning a hand as I only played in 3 hands. Won a few hands, got busted out due to a better kicker and went home. It was actually one of the most boring poker games I have played except for TBO breaking his hand when he punched the wall. That was fun....for me. I feel bad for the wall though.
Outside of that just working, camping once with BF, LF, Slim and family which was great. BF even brought Opus X's for the 3 of us to smoke. Good times!
I have cycling, poker, taking care of Sam and my fantasy football draft in the next week. I am excited for all of it.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
SMCC Saturday Ride
Crit and I both had to start from the school on Highland as he had to be at Funtown with his son at 10 and my BW and I had to meet Captain Dale at Lost Shaker of Salt II by 11. This removes the neutral sections of the ride but also to my benefit removes the annoying little hill from Broadway to Highland.
I felt pretty good that morning but Crit said he felt like he had a rock in his stomach and his legs were tired. Could have been left over from the rainy ride on Thursday. I wish I could ride as strong as he does when I feel like crap.
We jumped into the group at about 27 miles an hour. Nice way to wake up your legs. Things went pretty smoothly outside of the random guy who showed up with a backpack and a bike pump sticking out of the pack. The first time he went through in the pace line he just sat up until someone yelled for him to pull through. This would be a recurring theme.
I felt good and took my turns in the pace line as we headed to Blackpoint. Crit took a flier off the front about 1 mile before the fire station hoping to catch people by surprise. He did as he quickly jumped out to about a 30 meter lead, unfortunately for him there was a fire truck in the middle of road stopping traffic so that break was for not. For some reason he decided to break again right after this but two guys went with him meaning I had to bridge the 15 to 20 meters so he wasn't on his own. Once he realized the break didn't take we sat up and waited for the group.
The plan was for me to give Crit a lead out from 500 meters but we got caught a little far back and on the outside so I went with about 800 meters left. I did pull him to the front but we came from so far back that too many people saw it and caught on. Crit did give me credit for stringing out the group though and as I pulled off he simply sat in for a 100 meters and then blasted by the 2 or 3 guys in front of him for the win. He sounded pretty happy to have his lead out guy back even if I am not quite where I was a few years ago.
The rest of the ride went well and I just sat in as much as possible while taking a couple of short pulls. With about 1.5 miles left two of the better riders (I know them as Hank and Dixon) went off the front and had a gap of about 100 meters. As I was coming up the last hill near the Portland Headlight I realized that I had a lot more momentum the 10 guys in front of me so I pulled around them and just kept going. Of course who was causing the slow up? That's right the guy with the backpack. So knowing I wasn't going to contest the sprint I figured I would do my best to pull the pack back to the break. I gained about 80 meters in the 600 to 700 meters I pulled for and got some thanks after the sprint for closing the gap. I even helped Crit by pulling the pack back I allowed him to shoot past a lot of guys and he finished 3rd.
Good times and then even better times on Lost Shaker of Salt II for about 10 hours and a couple of hours in the Old Port with my BW, Kelly B, Crit, his fiance Jrock and Chimp Hands. If I can get my hands on the video of Crit and Jrock dancing that is going straight to youtube!
I felt pretty good that morning but Crit said he felt like he had a rock in his stomach and his legs were tired. Could have been left over from the rainy ride on Thursday. I wish I could ride as strong as he does when I feel like crap.
We jumped into the group at about 27 miles an hour. Nice way to wake up your legs. Things went pretty smoothly outside of the random guy who showed up with a backpack and a bike pump sticking out of the pack. The first time he went through in the pace line he just sat up until someone yelled for him to pull through. This would be a recurring theme.
I felt good and took my turns in the pace line as we headed to Blackpoint. Crit took a flier off the front about 1 mile before the fire station hoping to catch people by surprise. He did as he quickly jumped out to about a 30 meter lead, unfortunately for him there was a fire truck in the middle of road stopping traffic so that break was for not. For some reason he decided to break again right after this but two guys went with him meaning I had to bridge the 15 to 20 meters so he wasn't on his own. Once he realized the break didn't take we sat up and waited for the group.
The plan was for me to give Crit a lead out from 500 meters but we got caught a little far back and on the outside so I went with about 800 meters left. I did pull him to the front but we came from so far back that too many people saw it and caught on. Crit did give me credit for stringing out the group though and as I pulled off he simply sat in for a 100 meters and then blasted by the 2 or 3 guys in front of him for the win. He sounded pretty happy to have his lead out guy back even if I am not quite where I was a few years ago.
The rest of the ride went well and I just sat in as much as possible while taking a couple of short pulls. With about 1.5 miles left two of the better riders (I know them as Hank and Dixon) went off the front and had a gap of about 100 meters. As I was coming up the last hill near the Portland Headlight I realized that I had a lot more momentum the 10 guys in front of me so I pulled around them and just kept going. Of course who was causing the slow up? That's right the guy with the backpack. So knowing I wasn't going to contest the sprint I figured I would do my best to pull the pack back to the break. I gained about 80 meters in the 600 to 700 meters I pulled for and got some thanks after the sprint for closing the gap. I even helped Crit by pulling the pack back I allowed him to shoot past a lot of guys and he finished 3rd.
Good times and then even better times on Lost Shaker of Salt II for about 10 hours and a couple of hours in the Old Port with my BW, Kelly B, Crit, his fiance Jrock and Chimp Hands. If I can get my hands on the video of Crit and Jrock dancing that is going straight to youtube!
Thursday in the Rain
I decided against my better judgement and my BW's text message about a tornado warning in our general area to ride with Back Bay Bikes. I was one of the few as it was only Crit, our riding friend Bike Shedd, Kris from BBB and one other guy.
I believe this proves there are always at least 5 idiots in every group of riders!
We started out on the usual route which is torture for me because it meant we were going up Mtn. Road. The guys had to wait for me but after that due to the rain and impending darkness we took a different route home avoiding Dutton Hill Rd. SWEET
I felt pretty good, did some long pulls and took some fliers off the front. These fliers always seem to be just before hills, this is my plan so I can hit the hill with as much momentum as possible. The ride was going smoothly until the other guy flatted. Standing there in the rain chilled us all but we got the flat changed quickly and got going again.
I flatted about 300 yards from BBB and thankfully Kris was nice enough to take the bike in the shop and change the tube on the rear tire. The Klein is a great frame but the reverse drop outs are a pain in the ASS. Remember flats come in 3'S
I have now decided that BBB is a very friendly shop so I am going to get my bike tuned up there and get my Rolf's bearing re-packed there as well.
It was a good ride, we did about 30 miles but neither Crit nor I have any stats.
I believe this proves there are always at least 5 idiots in every group of riders!
We started out on the usual route which is torture for me because it meant we were going up Mtn. Road. The guys had to wait for me but after that due to the rain and impending darkness we took a different route home avoiding Dutton Hill Rd. SWEET
I felt pretty good, did some long pulls and took some fliers off the front. These fliers always seem to be just before hills, this is my plan so I can hit the hill with as much momentum as possible. The ride was going smoothly until the other guy flatted. Standing there in the rain chilled us all but we got the flat changed quickly and got going again.
I flatted about 300 yards from BBB and thankfully Kris was nice enough to take the bike in the shop and change the tube on the rear tire. The Klein is a great frame but the reverse drop outs are a pain in the ASS. Remember flats come in 3'S
I have now decided that BBB is a very friendly shop so I am going to get my bike tuned up there and get my Rolf's bearing re-packed there as well.
It was a good ride, we did about 30 miles but neither Crit nor I have any stats.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Poker, I just met her!
One of the nice things about being back in the Portland area is the bi-weekly poker tournaments that TBO hosts. These are usually $25 buy in with $5 bounty no-limit hold-em tournaments but quarterly he has a $50 buy in with a $10 bounty. This past Friday was the big buy in tournament with 24 people.
I hadn't played much poker in the Miami area so my plan was to play as tight as I could and slowly work my way back into a rhythm. I am not really a by the numbers player or a play on instinct only player, I like to be somewhere in the middle. I wouldn't say I am any where near being a great poker player but I think I am decent which is largely based on my patience.
Friday night started out pretty well with a friendly table. My cards were running ok and I simply played when I had the cards and didn't mess around much. I folded a couple of times when I was probably in the lead after the flop but I don't think calling big bets that early is worth the risk. There are enough people in every poker tournament who aren't afraid to chase so why risk it until you have to. That doesn't mean I am against pushing a little when I sense weakness but usually players are a little looser early in tournaments and tighter later so I try to play the opposite.
When we combined tables from 2 to 3 I had a pretty good chip stack, I was about 3rd at my table. I had a good read on some of the players including the guy 2 to my right. I had him about 3 to 1 in chips and when he smooth called the BB with only about 6 times the BB left in chips I had him with a middle pair or Ace, something. I had pocket J's so I went all in assuming he would call. He did but unfortunately he hit A, 3, A on the flop. Hand basically over. It was a little bit of a bad beat but not due to him, he had to call.
The next hand really bothered me. I had K,Q and no one raised pre-flop. I called and the flop came down blank, Q, blank rainbow. No flush draw no straight draw. The guy 3 to my left who now had me about 3 to 1 in chips bet 20 after the flop. I smooth called assuming he had middle pair. Turn was a blank and still rainbow he bet $20 again and I smooth called again letting him think his middle pair was good. River turned an Ace but no straight draw or a flush draw. He bets $40 and I think he is either making a continuation bet hoping I missed or did he actually make all those bets with nothing but an Ace. I called as I was getting about 5 to 1 on my money and he turns over an Ace. I very politely asked what he was chasing. I wasn't rude about it. He said he was chasing the flush....I was stunned and not sure what to say. Apparently he thought two of the black cards where both spades but one was a spade and one was a club. The guys I knew at the table all gave me a knowing nod....bad beat and very bad play by him but he won so I guess it wasn't a bad play.
I went into a little funk and thought about just going all in as I was down to about 3 times the BB. Luckily I had all terrible hands for about 15 minutes and eventually ended up with 10 J suited so I went all in. I had 3 callers and this was my luckiest moment of the night as I hit the flush.
With enough chips to hang around for awhile I went back to being patient until I had pocket 9's. There was a raise from the guy 2 to my right who had drawn out against me when I had pocket J's. Seemed like a good time for payback. The flop came up 9, 6, J. I checked hoping he would take a shot at me seeing as he had me about 5 to 1 in chips at this time and he went all in. I insta-called and he was a tad shocked to see I had trip 9's. He gave me props for the trap and I won that hand. Shortly after the tables combined and the other table had a lot more chips in play so I was about 7th in chips out of 9.
I went into lock down poker mode and only played from position or when I had the cards. There were too many big stacks for me to push anyone around. I won a couple of decent size hands and then had Q, 6 from the little blind. No one raised so I called. The flop came out 10, J, Q rainbow. MMullet who was first to act went all in, it folded to me and I studied his chip stack. I had him about 3 to 1 and the only other guy left in the hand had less chips than I did. I folded but here is why. MMullet has taken me out of at least 4 tournaments and usually from behind. I assumed I had him with the Q's but I didn't want to risk that many chips in a race. He showed pocket 8's so I was right and I didn't even rabbit hunt as I just assumed he would hit either the 9 for the gut shot straight draw or another 8. That may seem like a defeatist attitude but like I said I play as much by instinct as by numbers.
I stayed very patient and watched other people beat up on each other until I had pocket J's again. The guy who chased earlier when the flush wasn't there raised. We ended up heads up and I had him about 2 to 1 in chips so I pushed all in and he called. He Ace, 6. This time there was no suck out for him and I took him down. From there until there were 4 of us I played very few hands. Once there were 4 of us I got a little more aggressive as I had already won $35 in bounty's and the 4th place prize was $60 so I would make money on the night no matter what. I took out the 4th place guy and at that point the other 2 players had about 85% of the chips and I had the other 15%. I made it back to almost even with some decent play (I raised all in when the dealer folded and the LB just called. I had 9, 6 off suit and he folded) and some nice cards. I lost when I raised 240 (I had about 700) and the other guy went all in. I had K, Q and decided to make a stand. Unfortunately he had A, K and that held up.
I was happy with my play especially given how little I have played lately. I am excited to get back into playing there regularly and perhaps making some trips to Seabrook to play in some tournaments. I have determined that at this point my game is much better suited to tournaments and not to cash games. Wish me luck!
I hadn't played much poker in the Miami area so my plan was to play as tight as I could and slowly work my way back into a rhythm. I am not really a by the numbers player or a play on instinct only player, I like to be somewhere in the middle. I wouldn't say I am any where near being a great poker player but I think I am decent which is largely based on my patience.
Friday night started out pretty well with a friendly table. My cards were running ok and I simply played when I had the cards and didn't mess around much. I folded a couple of times when I was probably in the lead after the flop but I don't think calling big bets that early is worth the risk. There are enough people in every poker tournament who aren't afraid to chase so why risk it until you have to. That doesn't mean I am against pushing a little when I sense weakness but usually players are a little looser early in tournaments and tighter later so I try to play the opposite.
When we combined tables from 2 to 3 I had a pretty good chip stack, I was about 3rd at my table. I had a good read on some of the players including the guy 2 to my right. I had him about 3 to 1 in chips and when he smooth called the BB with only about 6 times the BB left in chips I had him with a middle pair or Ace, something. I had pocket J's so I went all in assuming he would call. He did but unfortunately he hit A, 3, A on the flop. Hand basically over. It was a little bit of a bad beat but not due to him, he had to call.
The next hand really bothered me. I had K,Q and no one raised pre-flop. I called and the flop came down blank, Q, blank rainbow. No flush draw no straight draw. The guy 3 to my left who now had me about 3 to 1 in chips bet 20 after the flop. I smooth called assuming he had middle pair. Turn was a blank and still rainbow he bet $20 again and I smooth called again letting him think his middle pair was good. River turned an Ace but no straight draw or a flush draw. He bets $40 and I think he is either making a continuation bet hoping I missed or did he actually make all those bets with nothing but an Ace. I called as I was getting about 5 to 1 on my money and he turns over an Ace. I very politely asked what he was chasing. I wasn't rude about it. He said he was chasing the flush....I was stunned and not sure what to say. Apparently he thought two of the black cards where both spades but one was a spade and one was a club. The guys I knew at the table all gave me a knowing nod....bad beat and very bad play by him but he won so I guess it wasn't a bad play.
I went into a little funk and thought about just going all in as I was down to about 3 times the BB. Luckily I had all terrible hands for about 15 minutes and eventually ended up with 10 J suited so I went all in. I had 3 callers and this was my luckiest moment of the night as I hit the flush.
With enough chips to hang around for awhile I went back to being patient until I had pocket 9's. There was a raise from the guy 2 to my right who had drawn out against me when I had pocket J's. Seemed like a good time for payback. The flop came up 9, 6, J. I checked hoping he would take a shot at me seeing as he had me about 5 to 1 in chips at this time and he went all in. I insta-called and he was a tad shocked to see I had trip 9's. He gave me props for the trap and I won that hand. Shortly after the tables combined and the other table had a lot more chips in play so I was about 7th in chips out of 9.
I went into lock down poker mode and only played from position or when I had the cards. There were too many big stacks for me to push anyone around. I won a couple of decent size hands and then had Q, 6 from the little blind. No one raised so I called. The flop came out 10, J, Q rainbow. MMullet who was first to act went all in, it folded to me and I studied his chip stack. I had him about 3 to 1 and the only other guy left in the hand had less chips than I did. I folded but here is why. MMullet has taken me out of at least 4 tournaments and usually from behind. I assumed I had him with the Q's but I didn't want to risk that many chips in a race. He showed pocket 8's so I was right and I didn't even rabbit hunt as I just assumed he would hit either the 9 for the gut shot straight draw or another 8. That may seem like a defeatist attitude but like I said I play as much by instinct as by numbers.
I stayed very patient and watched other people beat up on each other until I had pocket J's again. The guy who chased earlier when the flush wasn't there raised. We ended up heads up and I had him about 2 to 1 in chips so I pushed all in and he called. He Ace, 6. This time there was no suck out for him and I took him down. From there until there were 4 of us I played very few hands. Once there were 4 of us I got a little more aggressive as I had already won $35 in bounty's and the 4th place prize was $60 so I would make money on the night no matter what. I took out the 4th place guy and at that point the other 2 players had about 85% of the chips and I had the other 15%. I made it back to almost even with some decent play (I raised all in when the dealer folded and the LB just called. I had 9, 6 off suit and he folded) and some nice cards. I lost when I raised 240 (I had about 700) and the other guy went all in. I had K, Q and decided to make a stand. Unfortunately he had A, K and that held up.
I was happy with my play especially given how little I have played lately. I am excited to get back into playing there regularly and perhaps making some trips to Seabrook to play in some tournaments. I have determined that at this point my game is much better suited to tournaments and not to cash games. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Lunch time golf
I went out with a co-worker today for a quick 9 holes at Twin Falls. This course is very short but presents some challenges with some narrow holes and lots of side hill lies.
I started out terribly and just couldn't seem to focus. (double, double, bogey, triple) After the first 4 holes I realized I was down 3 strokes to my co-worker and I couldn't let him beat me so I stated on the 5th tee I was going to shoot even par the rest of the way.
Hole 5: Easy 2 putt par after a short 3 wood but good 4 iron to 15 feet
Hole 6: Drove the 260 yard hole and 2 putted for birdie
Hole 7: Placed my drive 10 yards from the green but 3 putted from 12 feet for a bogey. (I could not get a putt to the hole all day)
Hole 8: Took the risky play with a driver and had to chip out. Had a 45 yard pitch to a brutal pin placement and hit my best touch shot of the day but missed my 4 ft par putt with a terrible stroke.
Hole 9: I needed a birdie to get to even par for the last 5 but I hit a terrible tee shot to a side hill lie. I had 190 in and hit a 5 iron from the lie right over the flag. I was just off the back and missed my birdie chip by inches but still made a nice recovery for par and 1 over for the last 5 holes.
I did realize that on all my bad shots early I was moving my head and once I stopped that the game seemed a lot easier. That all goes back to Hendersfheg's drunken golf lesson of 3 years ago but that is another story.
I am hoping to make the 9 hole lunches a once a week thing and play some courses that force me to use clubs besides my driver as TBO has joined Nonesuch and wants me to play there a lot and that course takes the driver out of my hands on all but 4 holes which negates my length advantage which I am convinced is why TBO joined there!
I started out terribly and just couldn't seem to focus. (double, double, bogey, triple) After the first 4 holes I realized I was down 3 strokes to my co-worker and I couldn't let him beat me so I stated on the 5th tee I was going to shoot even par the rest of the way.
Hole 5: Easy 2 putt par after a short 3 wood but good 4 iron to 15 feet
Hole 6: Drove the 260 yard hole and 2 putted for birdie
Hole 7: Placed my drive 10 yards from the green but 3 putted from 12 feet for a bogey. (I could not get a putt to the hole all day)
Hole 8: Took the risky play with a driver and had to chip out. Had a 45 yard pitch to a brutal pin placement and hit my best touch shot of the day but missed my 4 ft par putt with a terrible stroke.
Hole 9: I needed a birdie to get to even par for the last 5 but I hit a terrible tee shot to a side hill lie. I had 190 in and hit a 5 iron from the lie right over the flag. I was just off the back and missed my birdie chip by inches but still made a nice recovery for par and 1 over for the last 5 holes.
I did realize that on all my bad shots early I was moving my head and once I stopped that the game seemed a lot easier. That all goes back to Hendersfheg's drunken golf lesson of 3 years ago but that is another story.
I am hoping to make the 9 hole lunches a once a week thing and play some courses that force me to use clubs besides my driver as TBO has joined Nonesuch and wants me to play there a lot and that course takes the driver out of my hands on all but 4 holes which negates my length advantage which I am convinced is why TBO joined there!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sometimes there is no B Group
I did the SMCC ride on Saturday with Crit and about 30 other people many of them being 1/2/3 riders where Crit is a 4/5 and I am trying to create a new classification called 5/FAT. This is usually a fast ride and Saturday was no exception and if you fall off the back there is no B Group to grab onto. The major issue with being dropped on this ride is the last 10 miles are mainly along the coast and very windy so if you are riding on your own you bear the full brunt of the wind. If you are close to being dropped you must lay down everything you have because you can sit in the group and relax.
The first couple of miles are a neutral zone and we made our way to the 10 Million Dollar bridge which is where the fun starts. Thankfully no one screamed up the hill to the bridge and I actually made my way from about 20th to 5th going up the hill. I sat in 5th going over the bridge and onto Broadway and then we took the left up the hill towards Highland Ave. This isn't a big hill but always seems to give me lots of problems and Saturday was no exception as I actually dropped all the way to the back of the pack. I chased back on and then managed to fight my way to the middle of the pack which was a good thing as about .5 miles into Highland Ave we were going 33 MPH.
I felt strong all the way out to Black Point Inn and wasn't afraid to lead for a little even going to the front about .5 mile before everyone was gearing up for the sprint. Crit and I had chatted about me leading out from about 500 meters but I chose to slow it down and ride it out as I couldn't find Crit and by the time I did he was two lines over so I couldn't offer any help. Crit did take 2nd as one of the Class 3 guys took him at the line. Once I am in a little better shape that will not happen as I block a lot of wind for Crit and he can get a good jump around me even at 30+ mph.
On the way back I focused on staying in the middle of pack and only ended up at the back twice. Once I had to lay down some watts to get by some people so I could stop yo-yoing, the other time was on 77 just before the right onto Shore Road and the first 1 mile of Shore Road is downhill so I shut it down a little as I was pretty exhausted from the rollers and last climb before 77. I easily chased back on downhill and moved into the top 10 of the group, at this time we started a nice little climb and as a rider was trying to go by me on the left near the yellow line I moved over about 6 inches to give him room and a rider 2 back and 2 to my right yelled at me to hold my line, the guy immediately to my right had no issues with what I did and Jacko (one of the SMCC guys) told me later that I was in the right and the other guy was an idiot.
I handled Shore Road pretty easily which usually gives me fits as the rollers are a tad steep for my taste and I was headed for a top 20 finish when I nailed the biggest pot hole I have ever hit. I have no idea how my Rolf didn't blow. I hit it so hard my handlebars actually moved down a little bit, strangely enough Crit and I decided that was for the better as they appeared to by too high before. I still finished with the pack but shut it down after the hit to make sure my bike and my head were still in one piece.
We averaged 23.1 from the Shop to the Cookie Jar so the fast part of the ride was closer to 25. The total ride with the neutral zone back to the shop was 35 miles. I am hoping to get out and do at least one ride this week, maybe even two and then hit Saturday morning again.
The first couple of miles are a neutral zone and we made our way to the 10 Million Dollar bridge which is where the fun starts. Thankfully no one screamed up the hill to the bridge and I actually made my way from about 20th to 5th going up the hill. I sat in 5th going over the bridge and onto Broadway and then we took the left up the hill towards Highland Ave. This isn't a big hill but always seems to give me lots of problems and Saturday was no exception as I actually dropped all the way to the back of the pack. I chased back on and then managed to fight my way to the middle of the pack which was a good thing as about .5 miles into Highland Ave we were going 33 MPH.
I felt strong all the way out to Black Point Inn and wasn't afraid to lead for a little even going to the front about .5 mile before everyone was gearing up for the sprint. Crit and I had chatted about me leading out from about 500 meters but I chose to slow it down and ride it out as I couldn't find Crit and by the time I did he was two lines over so I couldn't offer any help. Crit did take 2nd as one of the Class 3 guys took him at the line. Once I am in a little better shape that will not happen as I block a lot of wind for Crit and he can get a good jump around me even at 30+ mph.
On the way back I focused on staying in the middle of pack and only ended up at the back twice. Once I had to lay down some watts to get by some people so I could stop yo-yoing, the other time was on 77 just before the right onto Shore Road and the first 1 mile of Shore Road is downhill so I shut it down a little as I was pretty exhausted from the rollers and last climb before 77. I easily chased back on downhill and moved into the top 10 of the group, at this time we started a nice little climb and as a rider was trying to go by me on the left near the yellow line I moved over about 6 inches to give him room and a rider 2 back and 2 to my right yelled at me to hold my line, the guy immediately to my right had no issues with what I did and Jacko (one of the SMCC guys) told me later that I was in the right and the other guy was an idiot.
I handled Shore Road pretty easily which usually gives me fits as the rollers are a tad steep for my taste and I was headed for a top 20 finish when I nailed the biggest pot hole I have ever hit. I have no idea how my Rolf didn't blow. I hit it so hard my handlebars actually moved down a little bit, strangely enough Crit and I decided that was for the better as they appeared to by too high before. I still finished with the pack but shut it down after the hit to make sure my bike and my head were still in one piece.
We averaged 23.1 from the Shop to the Cookie Jar so the fast part of the ride was closer to 25. The total ride with the neutral zone back to the shop was 35 miles. I am hoping to get out and do at least one ride this week, maybe even two and then hit Saturday morning again.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Temporarily a B Group Rider
In case you all are wondering I have not been holding out regarding writing about my cycling, I simply haven't been riding. I needed to jump back into it and last night with Back Bay Cycles seemed like as a good a time as ever.
This is a ride with some serious climbing (even Crit puts it in the small ring) which as we all know is not my strong suit. The only saving grace for me is they wait at the end of the 2 largest hills.
I arrived nice and early and got everything situated, even had Crit change my skewer on my front tire to attempt too diagnose the rub that has been happening. We have determined it was a combination of the skewer and my needing new bearings. The skewer did solve most of the issue though.
10 minutes before we are to leave my bike is leaned up against my car and all of the sudden my bike starts shaking, or actually it was my car that was shaking!
Somehow the lady in the minivan parked in front of me forgot she had a trailer hitch and backed into my G35x's plastic ground effects/bumper. Once I got her attention and got her to stop backing up she insisted she was parked in by Crit and I. We just looked at each other dumb founded because when she had backed up she had at least 6 feet in front of her minivan to Crit's car. We got her out of there with a minimum of directions once she realized that when you drive a minivan the front of your car is only 3 feet from your head.
5 minutes to go there is an announcement of a separate B Group. I was all the sudden much happier...you know just in case the A Group decided that waiting more than 15 minutes for me was becoming tiresome. Little did I know how much the B Group would come in handy.
Crit and I start to role out with the A Group when to my dismay I realize that the last time anyone had been on my Klein it was my Beautiful Wife (BW for short now aka, RHS and BOS) when we were seeing if my frame would fit her. So as I am trying to avoid my chin with my knees I let Crit know and whip around to go to my car to make a quick adjustment assuming I will simply ride with the B Group but Crit to his credit wouldn't let me quit on the A Group that easy. With a quick seat height adjustment we take off from my car, go flying by the B Group waiting at a light and he says grab on and I will tow you to the A Group. Grab on to what? I couldn't even catch up to him to draft so I let him go after a fruitless .5 mile chase so he can ride with the A's. I pull off and adjust my seat some more and catch on with the B's.
All in all a good ride, I was pretty spent going up Mtn. Road but for some reason when we got to Dutton Hill Rd. I actually kept up with the better climbers for the most part. When I don't ride for a while it takes some miles to get used to the pain levels associated with climbing but once I am there no issues.
The only issue with riding with the B's is they are very disorganized. I suspect that is why they all ride with the B's as they aren't into creating a nice tight peloton so there were constantly people off the front. I would use my superior descent technique (fat+gravity+plus tight tuck=speed) to chase down some breaks and I led a couple of them, the last as it turned out broke up the pack as the 9 of us riding were only 4 when we returned to the shop. Probably not good B Group etiquette but the guys who I was towing seemed pretty happy.
We went 35 miles with an average of 18 mph with quite a bit of soft pedaling, not too bad with that much climbing. The A Group avg. 21.6 and Crit said through most of the rollers they were going 32-38 so they probably picked up a lot of their speed there. There is about 6 miles of neutral zone riding due to traffic so the main part of the ride is much faster. I didn't have a computer on but I would say my top speed probably crested 40 mph as Crit's was 42 and I usually descend faster.
Crit and I headed to my unfurnished apartment sat in the camp chairs and did some venting. Assuming my stuff either arrives tonight or is not scheduled to arrive too early tomorrow I will do the Saturday morning ride with SMCC.
I am glad to be back on the bike even if I am temporarily a B Group rider.
This is a ride with some serious climbing (even Crit puts it in the small ring) which as we all know is not my strong suit. The only saving grace for me is they wait at the end of the 2 largest hills.
I arrived nice and early and got everything situated, even had Crit change my skewer on my front tire to attempt too diagnose the rub that has been happening. We have determined it was a combination of the skewer and my needing new bearings. The skewer did solve most of the issue though.
10 minutes before we are to leave my bike is leaned up against my car and all of the sudden my bike starts shaking, or actually it was my car that was shaking!
Somehow the lady in the minivan parked in front of me forgot she had a trailer hitch and backed into my G35x's plastic ground effects/bumper. Once I got her attention and got her to stop backing up she insisted she was parked in by Crit and I. We just looked at each other dumb founded because when she had backed up she had at least 6 feet in front of her minivan to Crit's car. We got her out of there with a minimum of directions once she realized that when you drive a minivan the front of your car is only 3 feet from your head.
5 minutes to go there is an announcement of a separate B Group. I was all the sudden much happier...you know just in case the A Group decided that waiting more than 15 minutes for me was becoming tiresome. Little did I know how much the B Group would come in handy.
Crit and I start to role out with the A Group when to my dismay I realize that the last time anyone had been on my Klein it was my Beautiful Wife (BW for short now aka, RHS and BOS) when we were seeing if my frame would fit her. So as I am trying to avoid my chin with my knees I let Crit know and whip around to go to my car to make a quick adjustment assuming I will simply ride with the B Group but Crit to his credit wouldn't let me quit on the A Group that easy. With a quick seat height adjustment we take off from my car, go flying by the B Group waiting at a light and he says grab on and I will tow you to the A Group. Grab on to what? I couldn't even catch up to him to draft so I let him go after a fruitless .5 mile chase so he can ride with the A's. I pull off and adjust my seat some more and catch on with the B's.
All in all a good ride, I was pretty spent going up Mtn. Road but for some reason when we got to Dutton Hill Rd. I actually kept up with the better climbers for the most part. When I don't ride for a while it takes some miles to get used to the pain levels associated with climbing but once I am there no issues.
The only issue with riding with the B's is they are very disorganized. I suspect that is why they all ride with the B's as they aren't into creating a nice tight peloton so there were constantly people off the front. I would use my superior descent technique (fat+gravity+plus tight tuck=speed) to chase down some breaks and I led a couple of them, the last as it turned out broke up the pack as the 9 of us riding were only 4 when we returned to the shop. Probably not good B Group etiquette but the guys who I was towing seemed pretty happy.
We went 35 miles with an average of 18 mph with quite a bit of soft pedaling, not too bad with that much climbing. The A Group avg. 21.6 and Crit said through most of the rollers they were going 32-38 so they probably picked up a lot of their speed there. There is about 6 miles of neutral zone riding due to traffic so the main part of the ride is much faster. I didn't have a computer on but I would say my top speed probably crested 40 mph as Crit's was 42 and I usually descend faster.
Crit and I headed to my unfurnished apartment sat in the camp chairs and did some venting. Assuming my stuff either arrives tonight or is not scheduled to arrive too early tomorrow I will do the Saturday morning ride with SMCC.
I am glad to be back on the bike even if I am temporarily a B Group rider.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Stick and Balls Golf Week
Every year Grape Ape, Hendersfheg, BF and I have a golf week. Golf week is something we all look forward to for 50 weeks a year, often acting as though we were sailors released on shore leave with all the booze we can drink and an under-sexed group of hookers (ummm my wife wrote this part so apparently we can have hookers next year). Recovery time from golf week is approximately 1 week, which seems to take longer every year we grow older. Two weeks out we are readily looking forward to the following year.
We have a few traditions that we try to stick to:
1) Finish 2nd in the Tropics Open. We are going up against much better teams but somehow we always finish 2nd and usually win a skin. One player every year steps up and one steps down..this year I stepped down.
2) Drink lots of Gearys and then drink some more Gearys.
3) Hendersfheg and I find something other than golf to compete in, real or imaginary. A few years ago Hendersfheg bet me $10,000 that he could beat me in a cycling race. Of course he didn't own one at the time one , so I felt it was a pretty safe bet. This years gambling was centered around pool thanks to BF's new game room. I think we played about 20 games and handed $20 back and forth at least 10 times. Hendersfheg won the $20 in the end basically because he wouldn't let me go to bed until he was winning.
4) Go to Keene and play 36 at Bretwoods the day after the tournament. While it's a long travel just to play golf, Bretwoods holds a special place in all of our hearts. We had one of our all time gayest moments as a group there. Imagine a beautiful day on the course interrupted by a sporadic thundershower. We were out on the course when the foul weather swept in, forcing us to take cover under one of the picturesque covered bridges. I guess it wasn't that gay at the time, but the way Hendersfheg talks about it...well that is pretty gay.
5) BF, Grape Ape and Hendersfheg harsh each other all week. The cool thing is Grape Ape has gotten funnier as he gets older. I try to avoid this as much as possible.
5) Play the Stick and Balls match play tournament.
Part of golf week is a match play tournament we call "Stick and Balls". The Stick and Balls tournament has been going on since 1999 and has taken on numerous iterations including amount of rounds, players (BF joined in circa 2001), and names. There is no trophy for the simple reason that until this year Hendersfheg has one it every year. He has always been a better golfer than the rest of us including at one point being as low as a 14 handicap. The rest of us range from 18 to 25. (Grape Ape only plays 2 or 3 times a year outside of golf week so his handicap has risen)
Strangely enough now that Hendersfheg lives in a state where you can golf year round his handicap has ballooned to an 18 which is my handicap as well.
So now we need a trophy! Why? Because for the first time in tournament history someone besides Hendersfheg was victorious and that would be me. I mean why else would I write so much about this.
Their were two minor downsides to the victory. I played great the day before the Tropics and the the afternoon after the Tropics but played poorly when my teammates needed me. I would trade the victory in Stick and Balls for the Tropics win. The other issue was Hendersfheg's elbow. You can tell we are getting old when he loses the tournament due an elbow injury sustained 6 months earlier putting away Christmas decorations.
I have been told there will be no asterisk next to my name on the trophy however!
I am victorious.
We have a few traditions that we try to stick to:
1) Finish 2nd in the Tropics Open. We are going up against much better teams but somehow we always finish 2nd and usually win a skin. One player every year steps up and one steps down..this year I stepped down.
2) Drink lots of Gearys and then drink some more Gearys.
3) Hendersfheg and I find something other than golf to compete in, real or imaginary. A few years ago Hendersfheg bet me $10,000 that he could beat me in a cycling race. Of course he didn't own one at the time one , so I felt it was a pretty safe bet. This years gambling was centered around pool thanks to BF's new game room. I think we played about 20 games and handed $20 back and forth at least 10 times. Hendersfheg won the $20 in the end basically because he wouldn't let me go to bed until he was winning.
4) Go to Keene and play 36 at Bretwoods the day after the tournament. While it's a long travel just to play golf, Bretwoods holds a special place in all of our hearts. We had one of our all time gayest moments as a group there. Imagine a beautiful day on the course interrupted by a sporadic thundershower. We were out on the course when the foul weather swept in, forcing us to take cover under one of the picturesque covered bridges. I guess it wasn't that gay at the time, but the way Hendersfheg talks about it...well that is pretty gay.
5) BF, Grape Ape and Hendersfheg harsh each other all week. The cool thing is Grape Ape has gotten funnier as he gets older. I try to avoid this as much as possible.
5) Play the Stick and Balls match play tournament.
Part of golf week is a match play tournament we call "Stick and Balls". The Stick and Balls tournament has been going on since 1999 and has taken on numerous iterations including amount of rounds, players (BF joined in circa 2001), and names. There is no trophy for the simple reason that until this year Hendersfheg has one it every year. He has always been a better golfer than the rest of us including at one point being as low as a 14 handicap. The rest of us range from 18 to 25. (Grape Ape only plays 2 or 3 times a year outside of golf week so his handicap has risen)
Strangely enough now that Hendersfheg lives in a state where you can golf year round his handicap has ballooned to an 18 which is my handicap as well.
So now we need a trophy! Why? Because for the first time in tournament history someone besides Hendersfheg was victorious and that would be me. I mean why else would I write so much about this.
Their were two minor downsides to the victory. I played great the day before the Tropics and the the afternoon after the Tropics but played poorly when my teammates needed me. I would trade the victory in Stick and Balls for the Tropics win. The other issue was Hendersfheg's elbow. You can tell we are getting old when he loses the tournament due an elbow injury sustained 6 months earlier putting away Christmas decorations.
I have been told there will be no asterisk next to my name on the trophy however!
I am victorious.
Homeless with a checkbook
So we have been on the road since June 1st and are finally in our new place. As you can see from the picture we only have 2 places to sit, my beautiful wife has one and the other one is the toilet seat and no I am not blogging from the toilet seat.
BF said we have been "sloughing" off friends which sounds disgusting. I prefer the term visiting lots of friends and family and we owe a huge thanks to everyone who put us up or put up with us.
We determined that for the past month we have been homeless with a check book. We weren't destitute yet had no home. Chalk it up to trying to rent short term in the summer on the coast of Maine, plus with all of our travels this month it didn't make sense to rent anyways. I have always been fairly good at being displaced but a month can grind on you. When simply trying to get ready for work is a problem it gets frustrating.
So now we are simply waiting for all of our stuff. We don't where it is and we don't know when it is going to get here. I have called the movers numerous times and I am not sure if it is the language barrier (Maine vs. Miami as I am not really sure what language the guys is speaking) or the fact that all moving companies suck. They claim it is on the way and it isn't even due to get here until Saturday, we just wish we knew when it was actually going to arrive.
Anyways we will celebrate the 4th and hope our stuff isn't dropped off on the sidewalk while we are on Lost Shaker of Salt II.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Tour de Cure wrap up...long over due
All in all a good ride minus the 82 to 92 degree temperatures, the crappy roads, the traffic and the humidity. Good try Gloucester but we will be going back to Portsmouth next year. Yes it is a full month earlier and we might freeze and have less training but oh well at least the roads are smooth and no one tries to run you over. Please see Slim's summary.
Here is my brief synopsis:
Critracer:
So obviously certain people didn't see my Checklist blog as he showed up with out the all important white envelope. This was the least of his worries as he also left his helmet and gloves at his house and had to buy a new helmet at the ride. He did show a lot of patience though.
Grade C, it would have been an A but you showed up without half of your stuff and spent 5 miles tucking in behind a 90 pound 5 foot lady instead of helping your team. I did like his excuse; "I thought you said track her down", yeah cause she was really going to help us.
JRock:
All she was responsible for was tiring out Crit and finding a place to stay near our campground. I can not vouch for any late night tiring activities but she did manage to book a nice place on Atlantic St. Only one problem, we were staying on Atlantic Rd. So lets see they thought they were 2 minutes from us and ended up being 20 minutes away...and BTW they use a GPS in their car!
Oh well they found us and Crit was actually the at the start before we were.
Grade B, Road vs. Street, enough said.
BF:
He brought his gay seat, SPF Teflon, all the necessary equipment BUT he didn't bring his A game. He thought he was cramping at mile 35 of 62. Unfortunately for him we were in no mans land regarding turning back or forging ahead. We took a little short cut that saved us 7 miles and I will give him credit, he did finish. The last 6 or 7 miles were quite arduous and for what was supposed to be a pretty flat course he sucked it up and peddled the sizable hills at the end. The teams consensus is he not allowed to ride more than 40 miles and quite frankly he is going to show credible evidence he can before now and next May. I am thinking at least five 50 to 60 milers.
Grade B, on 2nd thought I am giving him a C because he went to bed at 4PM, got up at 6 for some pizza and went back to bed at 7:05. AAAARRRRFFFF
LF:
She handled her end of the bargain except for a couple of minor glitches. She was late getting her and the other women to the finish line so the only wife to see us finish was SlimWife. She also went to bed at 7:05 PM on her birthday. REALLY? I mean we all expect that of BF but you are the cool one! Otherwise very solid effort.
Grade B minus, 7:05 on your birthday? My beautiful wife almost fell out of her chair trying to catch her jaw.
Slim:
Solid work, rode very strong and brought lots of Gu. He was pretty bored at the end and raced Crit up the hills. This is a guy with some lung issue I can't spell who had to chase his 2 kids around half the time on Saturday but still threw in a nice pull. Nice work!
Grade A, there was nothing to complain about.
SlimWife:
The gossip mags were out in full force and she didn't let her kids get anyone sick. On the other hand she was ready to kill someone as the kids had a hard time sleeping with the excitement of camping. I applaud your patience.
Grade A Plus for surviving.
My Beautiful Wife:
She did as well as could be expected regarding keeping my dad in check and was the only one with non-stop energy, well except for the kids but she isn't much older than them so that is to be expected. I think she even liked her new camp chair.
Grade B because she spent 20 minutes helping my dad park his camper when she was supposed to be helping me make dinner.
Homey:
I was a little tired after a long pull from mile 28 to about 35 with the last 3 miles being slower than I would have liked. Besides that I just hung around and tried to point out holes and scream holes when the going was really bumpy. At one point I yelled big hole which apparently in the wind sounded like big ho. Besides that pretty uneventful.
Grade B, I wasn't as strong in the heat as I wanted to be but I did hang back and make sure BF got up all the hills.
Here is my brief synopsis:
Critracer:
So obviously certain people didn't see my Checklist blog as he showed up with out the all important white envelope. This was the least of his worries as he also left his helmet and gloves at his house and had to buy a new helmet at the ride. He did show a lot of patience though.
Grade C, it would have been an A but you showed up without half of your stuff and spent 5 miles tucking in behind a 90 pound 5 foot lady instead of helping your team. I did like his excuse; "I thought you said track her down", yeah cause she was really going to help us.
JRock:
All she was responsible for was tiring out Crit and finding a place to stay near our campground. I can not vouch for any late night tiring activities but she did manage to book a nice place on Atlantic St. Only one problem, we were staying on Atlantic Rd. So lets see they thought they were 2 minutes from us and ended up being 20 minutes away...and BTW they use a GPS in their car!
Oh well they found us and Crit was actually the at the start before we were.
Grade B, Road vs. Street, enough said.
BF:
He brought his gay seat, SPF Teflon, all the necessary equipment BUT he didn't bring his A game. He thought he was cramping at mile 35 of 62. Unfortunately for him we were in no mans land regarding turning back or forging ahead. We took a little short cut that saved us 7 miles and I will give him credit, he did finish. The last 6 or 7 miles were quite arduous and for what was supposed to be a pretty flat course he sucked it up and peddled the sizable hills at the end. The teams consensus is he not allowed to ride more than 40 miles and quite frankly he is going to show credible evidence he can before now and next May. I am thinking at least five 50 to 60 milers.
Grade B, on 2nd thought I am giving him a C because he went to bed at 4PM, got up at 6 for some pizza and went back to bed at 7:05. AAAARRRRFFFF
LF:
She handled her end of the bargain except for a couple of minor glitches. She was late getting her and the other women to the finish line so the only wife to see us finish was SlimWife. She also went to bed at 7:05 PM on her birthday. REALLY? I mean we all expect that of BF but you are the cool one! Otherwise very solid effort.
Grade B minus, 7:05 on your birthday? My beautiful wife almost fell out of her chair trying to catch her jaw.
Slim:
Solid work, rode very strong and brought lots of Gu. He was pretty bored at the end and raced Crit up the hills. This is a guy with some lung issue I can't spell who had to chase his 2 kids around half the time on Saturday but still threw in a nice pull. Nice work!
Grade A, there was nothing to complain about.
SlimWife:
The gossip mags were out in full force and she didn't let her kids get anyone sick. On the other hand she was ready to kill someone as the kids had a hard time sleeping with the excitement of camping. I applaud your patience.
Grade A Plus for surviving.
My Beautiful Wife:
She did as well as could be expected regarding keeping my dad in check and was the only one with non-stop energy, well except for the kids but she isn't much older than them so that is to be expected. I think she even liked her new camp chair.
Grade B because she spent 20 minutes helping my dad park his camper when she was supposed to be helping me make dinner.
Homey:
I was a little tired after a long pull from mile 28 to about 35 with the last 3 miles being slower than I would have liked. Besides that I just hung around and tried to point out holes and scream holes when the going was really bumpy. At one point I yelled big hole which apparently in the wind sounded like big ho. Besides that pretty uneventful.
Grade B, I wasn't as strong in the heat as I wanted to be but I did hang back and make sure BF got up all the hills.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
SlimCycles Tour de Cure Check/Wish list
Here is a list of the items, some tangible some of the action variety that should help SlimCycle complete the 62 miles in under 4 hours:
BF--Bring your shoes, PeptoBismol, lots of SPF Teflon, a wicked GAY seat and stay away from anything that could give you the Dominicans. That includes but is not limited to; seafood, small children and beer. PLEASE PLEASE dear god bring your A game.
Critracer--Bring lots of tequila with Sam Adams chasers: That is right Saturday is the day you start drinking hard alcohol again. The hangover combined with two softball induced torn hamstrings should slow you down just enough that some of us lesser cyclists escape with our manhood intact well at least those of who went into the ride with their manhood, see nose-less/gay seat. Hell you might want to carry a flask on the ride.
Plus if you don't bring your own tequila I will have my Dad sit on your chest while I pour tequila shots down your throat.
DO NOT BRING: The PS3 and GTA4 you just got for your birthday.
JRock (Crits Fiance)--Bring Crit to the check in area by 7:40, his large white envelope with his sign up information, his donation total (if it gets above $150) and don't be afraid to keep him up all night at whatever B&B you end up at. We will all be better served if you sap as much strength as possible from him and now that he is less than a year from 40 that shouldn't be too hard...pardon the pun.
Slim--Bring the Gu, the 605 Garmin Edge and we will let you bring your family BUT minus any communicable diseases. We don't need your kids getting us all sick and we all know how little a child can be and still take down BF. (Re: Mackenzie, golf in Florida week, circa 2005)
Also try not to get hurt tonight on the MTN Bike.
SlimWife--Bring blueberry beer, lots of gossip mags and a healthy sense of humor. What were you thinking agreeing to camp with us idiots for 3 nights? Keep the kids healthy and if they are sick bring masks for BF.
LF--Bring lots of Coors Light, all your new camping gear, Bob and his toys plus everything BF needs. I know that seems like a lot of responsibility but I am confident you can handle it and not so confident BF can.
There is no need to drive the 2 hours back to your house for shoes this time. If the shoes are not with us we are taping his feet to the pedals with duct tape and laughing hysterically at every stop sign. Ohh and the big man is down!
My Beautiful Wife--Bring your new camp chair. That is all you need. But you have the most important job. You need to keep my Dad from force feeding BF and Slim tequila or any kind of hard alcohol on Saturday night. Yup your job is to keep my Dad in check. Best of luck with that.
Homey--I will bring Geary's Summer Ale. As per usual I will pull for approximately 61 of the 62 miles Sunday and I need carbs for strength and staying wide (215 lbs) is how I block the wind for Slim and BF.
Best of luck everyone, if we all follow this simple checklist we will succed.
BF--Bring your shoes, PeptoBismol, lots of SPF Teflon, a wicked GAY seat and stay away from anything that could give you the Dominicans. That includes but is not limited to; seafood, small children and beer. PLEASE PLEASE dear god bring your A game.
Critracer--Bring lots of tequila with Sam Adams chasers: That is right Saturday is the day you start drinking hard alcohol again. The hangover combined with two softball induced torn hamstrings should slow you down just enough that some of us lesser cyclists escape with our manhood intact well at least those of who went into the ride with their manhood, see nose-less/gay seat. Hell you might want to carry a flask on the ride.
Plus if you don't bring your own tequila I will have my Dad sit on your chest while I pour tequila shots down your throat.
DO NOT BRING: The PS3 and GTA4 you just got for your birthday.
JRock (Crits Fiance)--Bring Crit to the check in area by 7:40, his large white envelope with his sign up information, his donation total (if it gets above $150) and don't be afraid to keep him up all night at whatever B&B you end up at. We will all be better served if you sap as much strength as possible from him and now that he is less than a year from 40 that shouldn't be too hard...pardon the pun.
Slim--Bring the Gu, the 605 Garmin Edge and we will let you bring your family BUT minus any communicable diseases. We don't need your kids getting us all sick and we all know how little a child can be and still take down BF. (Re: Mackenzie, golf in Florida week, circa 2005)
Also try not to get hurt tonight on the MTN Bike.
SlimWife--Bring blueberry beer, lots of gossip mags and a healthy sense of humor. What were you thinking agreeing to camp with us idiots for 3 nights? Keep the kids healthy and if they are sick bring masks for BF.
LF--Bring lots of Coors Light, all your new camping gear, Bob and his toys plus everything BF needs. I know that seems like a lot of responsibility but I am confident you can handle it and not so confident BF can.
There is no need to drive the 2 hours back to your house for shoes this time. If the shoes are not with us we are taping his feet to the pedals with duct tape and laughing hysterically at every stop sign. Ohh and the big man is down!
My Beautiful Wife--Bring your new camp chair. That is all you need. But you have the most important job. You need to keep my Dad from force feeding BF and Slim tequila or any kind of hard alcohol on Saturday night. Yup your job is to keep my Dad in check. Best of luck with that.
Homey--I will bring Geary's Summer Ale. As per usual I will pull for approximately 61 of the 62 miles Sunday and I need carbs for strength and staying wide (215 lbs) is how I block the wind for Slim and BF.
Best of luck everyone, if we all follow this simple checklist we will succed.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
1 weekend, 2 types of cycling
1) Oh the humanity--Group Riding
I ride with Critracer and SMCC on Saturdays when I am in Maine which thankfully will be full time. Saturday was my first group ride of the year and I had about 150 miles on the bike prior to this. I knew this wasn't enough of a base but apparently I like getting my ass handed to me.
This is the ride where I am the fat guy doing a fairly good imitation of a cyclist until the group decides to climb.
This is how these rides generally go: work my way to the front on the flats fall to the back going up hill and then coast by everyone downhill knowing there must be another hill to climb soon.
It was a small group as we headed out Commercial Street towards the bridge to South Portland. I felt ok and caught a break in traffic as we took the left off of Broadway up the hill towards Highland Ave. Yup I was in the front when the hill started and at the back when it ended.
Cruising down Highland I quickly realized that this was a disorganized ride and although I worked hard to move up I kept getting yo yo'ed by stronger riders who didn't seem to care the draft was my friend and frankly my only hope.
I hung in there though and when we turned onto Blackpoint I was doing pretty well. As we headed toward the hill to the fire station I realized that Blackpoint might be my Blackout or my Pukeout. I was at the back so I coasted down Blackpoint and pulled over and puked. Perhaps I was working too hard? Hmmm let me think here...heart beating out of chest, stars in eyes, puke on ground. Yup working just a tad too hard.
The ride back was fairly uneventful as I took off early assuming the pack would drag me back but according to Critracer they were still very disorganized and my 10 minute head start was enough to keep me out front so I decided to stop at Key Bank and wait so I could once again get my ass handed to me on Shore Road. Good times.
Footnote:
Another example of karma or this simply physics? I am currently riding at about 215 and the lightest I have ever been with this group is 195. The average weight of the guys in the group is around 150 pounds. Most of these guy can shop in the junior miss section or as Critracer says they wear extra-medium. Trust me, these guys are built more like figure skaters than football players. Gravity is like karma....it is ultimately fair so I use it to my advantage when I can which is only descending
I also walked 18 holes that afternoon which was great until about the 14th hole.
2) Towing the homeys
I did a hilly 33 miles with Slim and BF on Sunday. This was a fairly relaxed ride for me. I am the stronger road cyclist and actually pulled them basically the entire way. I can even ride these guys off my wheel and I don't fall to the back of the pack when we go up hill. That is a nice change for me. Admittedly I cycle on the road more than Slim and BF plus Slim would kick my ass mountain biking but still. I enjoy these rides and we have a good time without killing our legs.
Plus it is always fun to see BF slip all over the place on his nose-less seat. You would have to see it to believe it. The seat was mandated by LF after a "package" issue last year. I will spare you the details as I don't want you to go numb like he did. We all suspect that his issue arose (or didn't as the case may be) from not riding at all and then being on the saddle for 3.5 hours but whatever the cause his new seat is a great sense of humor for us.
Slim could be a lot stronger on the road (as you might suspect from the name he is built for cycling) but with 2 kids and an entire night dedicated to mountain biking it is tough for him to get out and do more than 1 or 2 rides every couple of weeks or months. (Read Slims view of our ride) He hung tough on this ride as he was fighting a hell of head cold and actually pulled once, which is once more than BF.
BF on the other hand has plenty of time on his hands and he is trying to get stronger on the bike. I will give him credit for actually training for our 62 mile charity ride this year. He has rode about 110 miles in the past couple of weeks which is usually his yearly total. His bike is too small for him and we can not convince him to spend $2k on a new bike other than that he needs to suck it up and ride harder! The other benefit to riding with BF besides humor is at 6' 6" and weighing 230 pounds he is one of the only people I can draft off going downhill.
So those are my 2 types of riding. One is really F'ing hard which makes the other one much easier.
I will say this, without the Critracer rides the rides with Slim and BF probably wouldn't seem so easy.
I ride with Critracer and SMCC on Saturdays when I am in Maine which thankfully will be full time. Saturday was my first group ride of the year and I had about 150 miles on the bike prior to this. I knew this wasn't enough of a base but apparently I like getting my ass handed to me.
This is the ride where I am the fat guy doing a fairly good imitation of a cyclist until the group decides to climb.
This is how these rides generally go: work my way to the front on the flats fall to the back going up hill and then coast by everyone downhill knowing there must be another hill to climb soon.
It was a small group as we headed out Commercial Street towards the bridge to South Portland. I felt ok and caught a break in traffic as we took the left off of Broadway up the hill towards Highland Ave. Yup I was in the front when the hill started and at the back when it ended.
Cruising down Highland I quickly realized that this was a disorganized ride and although I worked hard to move up I kept getting yo yo'ed by stronger riders who didn't seem to care the draft was my friend and frankly my only hope.
I hung in there though and when we turned onto Blackpoint I was doing pretty well. As we headed toward the hill to the fire station I realized that Blackpoint might be my Blackout or my Pukeout. I was at the back so I coasted down Blackpoint and pulled over and puked. Perhaps I was working too hard? Hmmm let me think here...heart beating out of chest, stars in eyes, puke on ground. Yup working just a tad too hard.
The ride back was fairly uneventful as I took off early assuming the pack would drag me back but according to Critracer they were still very disorganized and my 10 minute head start was enough to keep me out front so I decided to stop at Key Bank and wait so I could once again get my ass handed to me on Shore Road. Good times.
Footnote:
Another example of karma or this simply physics? I am currently riding at about 215 and the lightest I have ever been with this group is 195. The average weight of the guys in the group is around 150 pounds. Most of these guy can shop in the junior miss section or as Critracer says they wear extra-medium. Trust me, these guys are built more like figure skaters than football players. Gravity is like karma....it is ultimately fair so I use it to my advantage when I can which is only descending
I also walked 18 holes that afternoon which was great until about the 14th hole.
2) Towing the homeys
I did a hilly 33 miles with Slim and BF on Sunday. This was a fairly relaxed ride for me. I am the stronger road cyclist and actually pulled them basically the entire way. I can even ride these guys off my wheel and I don't fall to the back of the pack when we go up hill. That is a nice change for me. Admittedly I cycle on the road more than Slim and BF plus Slim would kick my ass mountain biking but still. I enjoy these rides and we have a good time without killing our legs.
Plus it is always fun to see BF slip all over the place on his nose-less seat. You would have to see it to believe it. The seat was mandated by LF after a "package" issue last year. I will spare you the details as I don't want you to go numb like he did. We all suspect that his issue arose (or didn't as the case may be) from not riding at all and then being on the saddle for 3.5 hours but whatever the cause his new seat is a great sense of humor for us.
Slim could be a lot stronger on the road (as you might suspect from the name he is built for cycling) but with 2 kids and an entire night dedicated to mountain biking it is tough for him to get out and do more than 1 or 2 rides every couple of weeks or months. (Read Slims view of our ride) He hung tough on this ride as he was fighting a hell of head cold and actually pulled once, which is once more than BF.
BF on the other hand has plenty of time on his hands and he is trying to get stronger on the bike. I will give him credit for actually training for our 62 mile charity ride this year. He has rode about 110 miles in the past couple of weeks which is usually his yearly total. His bike is too small for him and we can not convince him to spend $2k on a new bike other than that he needs to suck it up and ride harder! The other benefit to riding with BF besides humor is at 6' 6" and weighing 230 pounds he is one of the only people I can draft off going downhill.
So those are my 2 types of riding. One is really F'ing hard which makes the other one much easier.
I will say this, without the Critracer rides the rides with Slim and BF probably wouldn't seem so easy.
Karma
Quick history--last June:
When my wife and I moved to Miami I worked for a large tech firm in New England. We will call it company X. They relocated me to Miami and I worked for them for a year from Miami. (My total time with X was about 3 years.) Due to a circuitous reporting structure I reported to the parent company in Canada and they laid me off last June. I didn't blame the local management and understood the issues so I left professionally without burning bridges.
Present time:
My wife and I are moving back to New England and Company X got wind of this and reached out to me to offer me a job! They are now a regional company again with very limited reporting back to Canada and the team I was working with is still largely in place.
I have been very happy with my current employer and feel a lot of loyalty to the family that owns the company but sometimes you have to go with your gut...oh and the hefty raise didn't hurt.
Karma...Company X made a point to let me know that the reason I was getting the offer was due to my professionalism when I left and my open communications with Company X since my departure.
Who knew....what goes around does actually come around.
So back to the application development world which I have missed and apparently back to Portland a place I have missed and love.
This changes my wife's search area quite significantly but she has some good leads.
When my wife and I moved to Miami I worked for a large tech firm in New England. We will call it company X. They relocated me to Miami and I worked for them for a year from Miami. (My total time with X was about 3 years.) Due to a circuitous reporting structure I reported to the parent company in Canada and they laid me off last June. I didn't blame the local management and understood the issues so I left professionally without burning bridges.
Present time:
My wife and I are moving back to New England and Company X got wind of this and reached out to me to offer me a job! They are now a regional company again with very limited reporting back to Canada and the team I was working with is still largely in place.
I have been very happy with my current employer and feel a lot of loyalty to the family that owns the company but sometimes you have to go with your gut...oh and the hefty raise didn't hurt.
Karma...Company X made a point to let me know that the reason I was getting the offer was due to my professionalism when I left and my open communications with Company X since my departure.
Who knew....what goes around does actually come around.
So back to the application development world which I have missed and apparently back to Portland a place I have missed and love.
This changes my wife's search area quite significantly but she has some good leads.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Beer Reviews--Chicago trip
I have decided to start a new section to my blog. In my travels I get to try quite a few micro-breweries so I am going to start giving my non-flowery straight forward reviews. I will be using a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the best.
Ram Brewery in Chicago
I went here twice and overall felt it was good beer at good prices with frosty cold mugs. The food was also excellent and great TV's for watching sports.
Beers tasted:
Big Red IPA--I wouldn't get this beer again. Not that it was terrible but I think it was trying to be too many things. Is it a Red? Is it an IPA? It failed as either and as a combination.
Overall: 4
71 Pale Ale--nice pale ale especially with dinner (steak salad). It wasn't too hoppy so it didn't over power the food but was hoppy enough to drink on its own. Nice little spicy finish as well. This would be good with a mild cigar as well.
Overall 7
Total Disorder Porter--This was a solid porter and a nice sipping beer. Good flavor and weight. Reminded me a little of Gritty's brown but it was heavier.
Overall 6
Buttface Amber Ale--I am pretty sure I ordered this just say I could say Buttface to the waitress and not get slapped. I was also full from dinner so a lighter beer was in order. Not bad for an Amber which usually are not my favorite. I would order it again though if I was full or planned on having 4 or 5 beers after dinner.
Overall 6
Conference Wine and Cheese Hour
Goose Island Honker's Ale--They describe this as a drinkable bitter ale. I can tell you it tasted more like a Coors Light that was transformed to a bitter. Light, not much flavor and not well balanced but there was the unpleasant after taste.
Overall 3
Ram Brewery in Chicago
I went here twice and overall felt it was good beer at good prices with frosty cold mugs. The food was also excellent and great TV's for watching sports.
Beers tasted:
Big Red IPA--I wouldn't get this beer again. Not that it was terrible but I think it was trying to be too many things. Is it a Red? Is it an IPA? It failed as either and as a combination.
Overall: 4
71 Pale Ale--nice pale ale especially with dinner (steak salad). It wasn't too hoppy so it didn't over power the food but was hoppy enough to drink on its own. Nice little spicy finish as well. This would be good with a mild cigar as well.
Overall 7
Total Disorder Porter--This was a solid porter and a nice sipping beer. Good flavor and weight. Reminded me a little of Gritty's brown but it was heavier.
Overall 6
Buttface Amber Ale--I am pretty sure I ordered this just say I could say Buttface to the waitress and not get slapped. I was also full from dinner so a lighter beer was in order. Not bad for an Amber which usually are not my favorite. I would order it again though if I was full or planned on having 4 or 5 beers after dinner.
Overall 6
Conference Wine and Cheese Hour
Goose Island Honker's Ale--They describe this as a drinkable bitter ale. I can tell you it tasted more like a Coors Light that was transformed to a bitter. Light, not much flavor and not well balanced but there was the unpleasant after taste.
Overall 3
Miami to Maine Solo
So my wife and I are moving back to New England as soon as her commitment to FIU is complete or sooner if the the lack of air conditioning and overall oppressiveness of Miami gets to her before then. Only 18 more days sweety! Hang in there.
Luckily I had a conference in Orlando last week so I took the occasion to transport the Jordanoff Family Jet (aka the 2005 G35x) to New Hampshire. The company will reimburse the first 460 miles of the 1,500 mile trip so why not just keep going once I hit Orlando.
With my Klein on the roof, clubs in the trunk and clothes everywhere, I did the solo drive for the last time. It was fairly uneventful except for the a 1.5 hour detour/delay on 78 in Pennsylvania. Total time in the car from Miami was 25 hours (60 mph average) and 20 mpg. Not bad with a full car and a bike on the roof. Lots of traffic in DC but when isn't there.
I have now been in New Hampshire at BF and LF's house and already feel 1000 times better. I have even rode 46 miles in the past 2 days. It feels good to be active.
Pretty soon we will take the Jordanoff Family Helicopter (2006 Mini Cooper S) on the ride and then we will be done with Miami forever! That will also be the last M2M Mini game.
Luckily I had a conference in Orlando last week so I took the occasion to transport the Jordanoff Family Jet (aka the 2005 G35x) to New Hampshire. The company will reimburse the first 460 miles of the 1,500 mile trip so why not just keep going once I hit Orlando.
With my Klein on the roof, clubs in the trunk and clothes everywhere, I did the solo drive for the last time. It was fairly uneventful except for the a 1.5 hour detour/delay on 78 in Pennsylvania. Total time in the car from Miami was 25 hours (60 mph average) and 20 mpg. Not bad with a full car and a bike on the roof. Lots of traffic in DC but when isn't there.
I have now been in New Hampshire at BF and LF's house and already feel 1000 times better. I have even rode 46 miles in the past 2 days. It feels good to be active.
Pretty soon we will take the Jordanoff Family Helicopter (2006 Mini Cooper S) on the ride and then we will be done with Miami forever! That will also be the last M2M Mini game.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Top 10 Excuses for not Cycling in Miami
I live in a climate where I could ride year round, yet today was my first ride in Miami since July. I do have numerous excuses, don't I always.
Here are the top 10
And of course
10. BEER BEER BEER--I am drinking a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale as I write this.
Today I fought through those excuses and drove the 12 miles south to Key Biscayne and paid the toll to park on the causeway. I would feel very guilty complaining it was hot as Critracer had just finished a Time Trial in 45 degree rainy weather and was fighting hypothermia when I spoke with him just before my ride. Of course he is almost as slim as Slim so some of that is lack of insulation.
I got in a solid 22 miles and even got in some bridge work (in Miami those are the only hills). Went out way too fast but still averaged about 18 for the ride.
84 degrees, sunny, a nice breeze and plenty of sights to behold.
BF and Slim I hope you are ready for my reintroduction to New England, we are riding 30 miles on Sunday and need to average 18. See you both in a week.
Trying to fight off the body built by sales!
Here are the top 10
- Too hot
- Too humid (it cools down at night but the humidity goes way up)
- Worried about getting run over--this is legit as numerous people get run over cycling in Miami including my doctor who got rear ended and knocked off his bike on his first ride in Miami
- Riding alone is no fun
- Don't want to drive 12 miles to start my ride
- I own a 61" HD TV and a DVR and a Playstation 3
- My wife is 10 years younger than me and hot
- I am in shape, assuming round is still a shape
- My bike has no motor
And of course
10. BEER BEER BEER--I am drinking a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale as I write this.
Today I fought through those excuses and drove the 12 miles south to Key Biscayne and paid the toll to park on the causeway. I would feel very guilty complaining it was hot as Critracer had just finished a Time Trial in 45 degree rainy weather and was fighting hypothermia when I spoke with him just before my ride. Of course he is almost as slim as Slim so some of that is lack of insulation.
I got in a solid 22 miles and even got in some bridge work (in Miami those are the only hills). Went out way too fast but still averaged about 18 for the ride.
84 degrees, sunny, a nice breeze and plenty of sights to behold.
BF and Slim I hope you are ready for my reintroduction to New England, we are riding 30 miles on Sunday and need to average 18. See you both in a week.
Trying to fight off the body built by sales!
United we stand, US Airways we fall--ABRIDGED
From the very few readers I have I was told my last post was way too long. Here is the abridged version.
Going to Chicago for a conference: Lost my luggage, got it back the next day but only after I had to wear the same clothes as I had no time to buy new ones before the conference started. If you can you should buy new clothes as United will reimburse you. $50 in vouchers to United...would have loved a new suit to go along with that.
Going back to Miami: 315,000 steps walking around the airport, 8 blisters, shin splints, serious signs of dehydration, 1 hour on the phone with various airlines, 5 different gate agents dealt with, 5 beers, lunch, 8 hours in the airport and a thorough knowledge of the layout of Ohare. I believe at one point I had seats held on 5 different flights.
Amazingly my luggage arrived in Miami well before I did. Of course it was on the other end of the airport from where I came in but at least it was there.
Travel, sometimes it is some much fun!
Going to Chicago for a conference: Lost my luggage, got it back the next day but only after I had to wear the same clothes as I had no time to buy new ones before the conference started. If you can you should buy new clothes as United will reimburse you. $50 in vouchers to United...would have loved a new suit to go along with that.
Going back to Miami: 315,000 steps walking around the airport, 8 blisters, shin splints, serious signs of dehydration, 1 hour on the phone with various airlines, 5 different gate agents dealt with, 5 beers, lunch, 8 hours in the airport and a thorough knowledge of the layout of Ohare. I believe at one point I had seats held on 5 different flights.
Amazingly my luggage arrived in Miami well before I did. Of course it was on the other end of the airport from where I came in but at least it was there.
Travel, sometimes it is some much fun!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
United we stand, US Airways we fall
I want to place one caveat in front of this post to ensure I do not anger the travel gods. I travel a lot and fortunately with how much I fly I actually don't have that many issues regarding delays and baggage. There that should appease the travel gods.
I do have numerous stories of the random travelers I encounter; the 2 anxiety pills popping sleeping on my shoulder flatulent guy on the way to Vegas whose North Shore (pretty sure she was from Revere) sister insists on telling me her life story including the fact she is going to Vegas for a funeral, the 10 year old kid who thinks kicking my seat is funny, the old lady who while in the longest security line keeps saying move your bones whenever there was a 3 foot gap in front of me. We all run into the "rookie" travelers though so I try look at this as part of the deal.
This is rather long post as it is pretty hard to describe all that happened succinctly.
I was heading from Miami to Chicago for a conference. The best price I could find sent me through Charlotte on US Airways from MIA to CLT and on United to Ohare. I do try to be frugal with my companies money. That might stop after this trip.
Tuesday MIA to CLT (that is short for Charlotte not a female body part): We leave 25 minutes late due to a wind shift shortly before take off. What would happen if we had already started our takeoff and the wind shifted?
We land in CLT and I sprint from the US Airways terminal to the United terminal.
CLT to ORD: Board the flight and realize that they are waiting for another US Airways flight with a bunch of people connecting. Sweet my luggage will be safe. They have 30 minutes. What could possibly go wrong.
ORD: The people who boarded after me all got their luggage but mine didn't arrive. Something about US Airways to United was mentioned and that no one was sure where my luggage was but most likely it was still in CLT. The United luggage agent was very friendly and told me to go buy new clothes for tomorrow and United would reimburse me. Only one SMALL problem with that. It was almost 10PM and the conference started at 7:00 AM the following morning.
I was told my boss to use a suburban taxi or car service as they are flat rates. I knew the hotel was a little ways from the airport but at one point I text messaged Critracer that I was either being brought into the woods to be killed by my Serbian cabbie (could not understand a word he was saying) or my conference was in Milwaukee. He did offer to call 911 which was nice.
For day one of the conference I wore the same exact clothes I wore the day before. Yup all of them. A gentle reminder Miami is hot this time of year and I had been all over the place in the same exact outfit I was wearing. ARRRFFF I think I am just going to throw the underwear away.
My luggage did arrive at 2PM the next day at the hotel and I eventually got to shower and change and best of all put on clean underwear. I only got $50 in vouchers to United but the Indian customer service rep was nice enough to admit that if I had been able to get new clothes with time stamped receipts I would have been reimbursed for those purchases plus the $50 credit. Note to all: If you lose your luggage claim that your most important meeting of the year is the next day and you can to attend without a new suit. A $1000 suit of course. I should have skipped the opening of the conference but I am sure my boss would have been a tad peeved when standing at the booth alone with 150 people asking to have their Passports stamped. (This is a phenomenon you must see.)
Friday ORD to CLT or BIA or FLL or MIA: My flight to CLT is at 1:50 and I get to the airport at 11:30. The Serbian cabbie mumbles something about weather but I forgot to bring my handy Serbian to English dictionary so that didn't help. Checking in I see my flight is delayed 25 minutes. No worries. Go through security and check the board and I now see that my flight is delayed until 3:10. This could be troublesome. I call US Airways and they find me a later flight from CLT to MIA on American Eagle. Still relaxed so I walk from Terminal 1 to Terminal 3 to have lunch with my boss who is delayed as well. This is where the fun starts:
I started on the right hand side of Terminal 1 (blue), AA is in the 3rd prong of 3 (green), the first United gate I went to is at the end of the left hand prong of 2 and US Airways is at the end of the right hand prong. You can not go directly across without going through security again.
THERE ARE NO PEOPLE MOVERS
Terminal 1 to 2 to 3: Pedometer reading 60,000 steps
I notice a flight leaving for Charlotte in 25 minutes so I go looking for a United rep in case I can go standby. Bypassing the line of 100 people waiting to talk with the Customer Service desk I make my way to the gate where the flight is leaving and chat with the gate agent. This of course is 1/2 a mile into terminal 2. There is nothing they can do for me and I am better off waiting for my initial flight. Walk all the way out into Terminal 3 in search of my boss for lunch.
Terminal 3 to 1: Pedometer reading 100,000 steps plus burned off the beer from lunch.
Head towards the gate and find out my flight is delayed until 4:22. No way to make my connection now. I call US Airways on my cell and they inform me the plane that is supposed to take me to CLT has not left Houston. As a side note she did inform me that all the other United flights going to CLT were fine, but of course booked. Helpul, very helpful. 15 minutes later she decides my best bet would be an American Airlines flight direct to MIA. Sweet and the flight is going to leave around 5:30 Central so I should be in MIA by 9:30 Eastern. The lady on the phone said all that was left to do was walk to a US Airways gate and chat with an agent and they will be able to print my ticket to AA for me.
Terminal 1 to 2: Pedometer reading: 125,000 steps. 3 blisters and definitely worked off the beer and the burger.
I ask an airport employee where US Airways is and they say terminal 2. Alright head back there and once again all the way into terminal 2 to find the ONE US Airways gate in all of Ohare. They tell me they can not do anything until United removes me as being checked in to their flight.Can 2 people from the same company get their stories straight? 25 minutes of phone time with United and I get this accomplished. He did try to tell me that because I booked the flight through US Airways, that US Airways needed to remove me. I fought through this and he got me removed. Back to the US Airways gate, the guy punches in some numbers and says I am all set but I will have to go to an AA gate to get my pass printed out.
Terminal 2 to 3: 175,000 steps, 2 more blisters for a total of 5 and dehydration is setting in. Rather upset I wore dress shoes instead of sneakers.
I go to gate 15 where my flight leaves from and they say I have to wait until they process the current flight. I wander to another AA gate and he says yup I see that you are confirmed for a seat but US Airways hasn't pushed the ticket over. He tells me to call them and they should be able to take care of that. OK easy enough right.
I call US Airways and after pushing 10 buttons and saying agent 5 times I speak to a human again. She proceeds to claim I am not in their system. She can not find me with my confirmation #, name or destination. I calmly let her know that the previous agent found me with my last name and my route. She refuses and says I need my flight # from CLT to MIA. So I dig around and finally find that. As soon as she finds me she proceeds to contradict everything that I have been told before. Of course, what was I thinking trusting the other US Airways employees.
I tried to remain patient and explain that she was contradicting everything the gate agent and the other US Airways rep told me. I calmly remind her I purchased these flights through US Airways. She didn't budge, and kept spouting off about procedures and how this was United's issue and they screwed up. I tried to be nice and explain my predicament at least 4 times. No movement on her part. I try all my moves, she is not impressed. Glad I never tried to pick her up in a bar.
I pull the "may I speak with your supervisor" card and of course her immediate retort is he will tell you exactly what I just told you. Listen lady, AA says I am already confirmed, United has removed me from their flight, US Airways (well everyone except you) says I am all set why can you not just push the ticket over. She insists I will have to go to the ONE Us Airways gate.
Terminal 3 to 2: Pedometer reading 205,000 steps and 1 more new blister and oh, what are those, yup shin splints. Feeling the initial symptoms of heat exhaustion.
She puts me on hold and after being on hold for 10 minutes I figure I should start the 15 minute walk back to the US Airways gate in Terminal 2. She comes on at one point during my walk and says the Supervisor is trying to help me. I get to the US Airways gate at the very moment she comes back on the phone. Apparently I was supposed to be impressed with her as proudly claimed "we get you on the AA flight that was supposed to leave at 6:05 and is now scheduled for 8:20". Wait a sec0nd, I was just at an AA gate and they said I was confirmed for the earlier flight. She claimed they had never heard of me. Dear god! So what you are telling me is you guys managed to screw this up and had to backtrack to help me.
Terminal 2 to 3: 228,000 steps, 3 more blisters and blood pressure way to high! Feet killing me, shins screaming. Must have beer and an ice massage.
2 quick Sam Adams calmed me down but after a lengthy internal argument I decided against taking off my shoes and rubbing ice on my feet. I finally board at 7:45 Central. Pilot lets us know we are 2nd in line. Sweet....oh wait there is another line of storms rolling through but he thinks we can get out. But of course with the storms the wind direction changed so we had to go to the other end of the runway so suddenly we are somewhere between 10th and 20th in line.
Saturday morning MIA AA to United to Car: Pedometer reading 315,000 steps a new personal best in dress shoes!
I arrive at 12:15 eastern time at the AA terminal. I need to go search for my luggage. AA is concourse C, United who still had control of my luggage is Concourse J and due to construction there are no people movers. So a 15 minute walk later my trip came to an end as I was rewarded by United having switched my bag to a different flight and it was just sitting there in the United office waiting for me. See good things do come to those who wait. Of course I was parked the furthest away I could be in the Dolphin garage from United but oh well I was almost home.
So let see, 315,000 steps (this morning it feels like about 8 miles) 8 blisters and I am back in the sweat box we call a house. Good times.
I do have numerous stories of the random travelers I encounter; the 2 anxiety pills popping sleeping on my shoulder flatulent guy on the way to Vegas whose North Shore (pretty sure she was from Revere) sister insists on telling me her life story including the fact she is going to Vegas for a funeral, the 10 year old kid who thinks kicking my seat is funny, the old lady who while in the longest security line keeps saying move your bones whenever there was a 3 foot gap in front of me. We all run into the "rookie" travelers though so I try look at this as part of the deal.
This is rather long post as it is pretty hard to describe all that happened succinctly.
I was heading from Miami to Chicago for a conference. The best price I could find sent me through Charlotte on US Airways from MIA to CLT and on United to Ohare. I do try to be frugal with my companies money. That might stop after this trip.
Tuesday MIA to CLT (that is short for Charlotte not a female body part): We leave 25 minutes late due to a wind shift shortly before take off. What would happen if we had already started our takeoff and the wind shifted?
We land in CLT and I sprint from the US Airways terminal to the United terminal.
CLT to ORD: Board the flight and realize that they are waiting for another US Airways flight with a bunch of people connecting. Sweet my luggage will be safe. They have 30 minutes. What could possibly go wrong.
ORD: The people who boarded after me all got their luggage but mine didn't arrive. Something about US Airways to United was mentioned and that no one was sure where my luggage was but most likely it was still in CLT. The United luggage agent was very friendly and told me to go buy new clothes for tomorrow and United would reimburse me. Only one SMALL problem with that. It was almost 10PM and the conference started at 7:00 AM the following morning.
I was told my boss to use a suburban taxi or car service as they are flat rates. I knew the hotel was a little ways from the airport but at one point I text messaged Critracer that I was either being brought into the woods to be killed by my Serbian cabbie (could not understand a word he was saying) or my conference was in Milwaukee. He did offer to call 911 which was nice.
For day one of the conference I wore the same exact clothes I wore the day before. Yup all of them. A gentle reminder Miami is hot this time of year and I had been all over the place in the same exact outfit I was wearing. ARRRFFF I think I am just going to throw the underwear away.
My luggage did arrive at 2PM the next day at the hotel and I eventually got to shower and change and best of all put on clean underwear. I only got $50 in vouchers to United but the Indian customer service rep was nice enough to admit that if I had been able to get new clothes with time stamped receipts I would have been reimbursed for those purchases plus the $50 credit. Note to all: If you lose your luggage claim that your most important meeting of the year is the next day and you can to attend without a new suit. A $1000 suit of course. I should have skipped the opening of the conference but I am sure my boss would have been a tad peeved when standing at the booth alone with 150 people asking to have their Passports stamped. (This is a phenomenon you must see.)
Friday ORD to CLT or BIA or FLL or MIA: My flight to CLT is at 1:50 and I get to the airport at 11:30. The Serbian cabbie mumbles something about weather but I forgot to bring my handy Serbian to English dictionary so that didn't help. Checking in I see my flight is delayed 25 minutes. No worries. Go through security and check the board and I now see that my flight is delayed until 3:10. This could be troublesome. I call US Airways and they find me a later flight from CLT to MIA on American Eagle. Still relaxed so I walk from Terminal 1 to Terminal 3 to have lunch with my boss who is delayed as well. This is where the fun starts:
I started on the right hand side of Terminal 1 (blue), AA is in the 3rd prong of 3 (green), the first United gate I went to is at the end of the left hand prong of 2 and US Airways is at the end of the right hand prong. You can not go directly across without going through security again.
THERE ARE NO PEOPLE MOVERS
Terminal 1 to 2 to 3: Pedometer reading 60,000 steps
I notice a flight leaving for Charlotte in 25 minutes so I go looking for a United rep in case I can go standby. Bypassing the line of 100 people waiting to talk with the Customer Service desk I make my way to the gate where the flight is leaving and chat with the gate agent. This of course is 1/2 a mile into terminal 2. There is nothing they can do for me and I am better off waiting for my initial flight. Walk all the way out into Terminal 3 in search of my boss for lunch.
Terminal 3 to 1: Pedometer reading 100,000 steps plus burned off the beer from lunch.
Head towards the gate and find out my flight is delayed until 4:22. No way to make my connection now. I call US Airways on my cell and they inform me the plane that is supposed to take me to CLT has not left Houston. As a side note she did inform me that all the other United flights going to CLT were fine, but of course booked. Helpul, very helpful. 15 minutes later she decides my best bet would be an American Airlines flight direct to MIA. Sweet and the flight is going to leave around 5:30 Central so I should be in MIA by 9:30 Eastern. The lady on the phone said all that was left to do was walk to a US Airways gate and chat with an agent and they will be able to print my ticket to AA for me.
Terminal 1 to 2: Pedometer reading: 125,000 steps. 3 blisters and definitely worked off the beer and the burger.
I ask an airport employee where US Airways is and they say terminal 2. Alright head back there and once again all the way into terminal 2 to find the ONE US Airways gate in all of Ohare. They tell me they can not do anything until United removes me as being checked in to their flight.Can 2 people from the same company get their stories straight? 25 minutes of phone time with United and I get this accomplished. He did try to tell me that because I booked the flight through US Airways, that US Airways needed to remove me. I fought through this and he got me removed. Back to the US Airways gate, the guy punches in some numbers and says I am all set but I will have to go to an AA gate to get my pass printed out.
Terminal 2 to 3: 175,000 steps, 2 more blisters for a total of 5 and dehydration is setting in. Rather upset I wore dress shoes instead of sneakers.
I go to gate 15 where my flight leaves from and they say I have to wait until they process the current flight. I wander to another AA gate and he says yup I see that you are confirmed for a seat but US Airways hasn't pushed the ticket over. He tells me to call them and they should be able to take care of that. OK easy enough right.
I call US Airways and after pushing 10 buttons and saying agent 5 times I speak to a human again. She proceeds to claim I am not in their system. She can not find me with my confirmation #, name or destination. I calmly let her know that the previous agent found me with my last name and my route. She refuses and says I need my flight # from CLT to MIA. So I dig around and finally find that. As soon as she finds me she proceeds to contradict everything that I have been told before. Of course, what was I thinking trusting the other US Airways employees.
I tried to remain patient and explain that she was contradicting everything the gate agent and the other US Airways rep told me. I calmly remind her I purchased these flights through US Airways. She didn't budge, and kept spouting off about procedures and how this was United's issue and they screwed up. I tried to be nice and explain my predicament at least 4 times. No movement on her part. I try all my moves, she is not impressed. Glad I never tried to pick her up in a bar.
I pull the "may I speak with your supervisor" card and of course her immediate retort is he will tell you exactly what I just told you. Listen lady, AA says I am already confirmed, United has removed me from their flight, US Airways (well everyone except you) says I am all set why can you not just push the ticket over. She insists I will have to go to the ONE Us Airways gate.
Terminal 3 to 2: Pedometer reading 205,000 steps and 1 more new blister and oh, what are those, yup shin splints. Feeling the initial symptoms of heat exhaustion.
She puts me on hold and after being on hold for 10 minutes I figure I should start the 15 minute walk back to the US Airways gate in Terminal 2. She comes on at one point during my walk and says the Supervisor is trying to help me. I get to the US Airways gate at the very moment she comes back on the phone. Apparently I was supposed to be impressed with her as proudly claimed "we get you on the AA flight that was supposed to leave at 6:05 and is now scheduled for 8:20". Wait a sec0nd, I was just at an AA gate and they said I was confirmed for the earlier flight. She claimed they had never heard of me. Dear god! So what you are telling me is you guys managed to screw this up and had to backtrack to help me.
Terminal 2 to 3: 228,000 steps, 3 more blisters and blood pressure way to high! Feet killing me, shins screaming. Must have beer and an ice massage.
2 quick Sam Adams calmed me down but after a lengthy internal argument I decided against taking off my shoes and rubbing ice on my feet. I finally board at 7:45 Central. Pilot lets us know we are 2nd in line. Sweet....oh wait there is another line of storms rolling through but he thinks we can get out. But of course with the storms the wind direction changed so we had to go to the other end of the runway so suddenly we are somewhere between 10th and 20th in line.
Saturday morning MIA AA to United to Car: Pedometer reading 315,000 steps a new personal best in dress shoes!
I arrive at 12:15 eastern time at the AA terminal. I need to go search for my luggage. AA is concourse C, United who still had control of my luggage is Concourse J and due to construction there are no people movers. So a 15 minute walk later my trip came to an end as I was rewarded by United having switched my bag to a different flight and it was just sitting there in the United office waiting for me. See good things do come to those who wait. Of course I was parked the furthest away I could be in the Dolphin garage from United but oh well I was almost home.
So let see, 315,000 steps (this morning it feels like about 8 miles) 8 blisters and I am back in the sweat box we call a house. Good times.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Can I call you Tony?
I want to apologize to the 8 people I had dinner with Saturday night.
I asked our waiter Anthony if we could call him Tony--his rather brusque answer was "NO I go by Anthony." Oh good an uptight waiter. Its not like I asked if I could call him Jackass.
(I didn't say the next line but in hindsight should have) Dude you are a waiter, we will be paying you to serve us, we should be able to call you anything with in reason or I should have just pulled a Tony Soprano like rant.
Apparently I angered him.
Guess what--you turned down the name Tony so from here on you will be called Fucknuts-Shitbags.
We showed up at the Rustic Grill in Sarasota expecting a great experience. None of us had been there except for Mr. Crabs, his ShitYard drinking--Yankees Fan Wife and myself for a film festival party a few years ago although we didn't eat there. Based on the ambiance from that night we had high hopes.
ShitYard drinker and I chatted when we arrived that we recalled some differences but than again there were 500 people the first time we were there and perhaps we had downed a few cocktails prior to the last visit. The fish tank was still there but alas the magic was gone.
Brief timeline
7:30--sit down, nice room, 2 other parties of at least 8 at the other 2 tables in the room. The table behind me was filled with 10 guys all dressed a little too well. Why did I let the "batting from the other side of the plate" table be at my back. I would have preferred knowing if I was going to be violated. At least if I saw it coming I could throw Mr. Crabs in front of me and let him take the brunt of it. I could even trip Bigfoot and use him as a door block. At 6' 6" if I wedged him in the door horizontally they would never get out. To be clear even though he is a sizable dude this would be my only chance of him protecting me from my from any anal invaders. I am pretty sure that the sub 5' LittleFoot is tougher.
7:45--order wine and some appetizers and ask my unfortunate naming convention question. Fucknuts-shitbags immediately showed how far that stick is up his ass.
8:00--this should have been our first clue besides the uptight waiter...15 minutes to bring the wine. It was selected by Mr. Crabs and we all agreed solid work there as they were both excellent.
8:30--is it me or have we been sitting here for 1 hour? Some rumbling beginning at the table..might be BigFoot's stomach though. I see the water lady glance at our table and my empty water glass but we don't exist to her...it is uncanny how she can manage to get the other 18 people in the room water but no one at our table! I realize there is a water shortage in Florida so does that mean they pick a large table every night and refuse water? ARE WE INVISIBLE? There goes Fucknuts-shitbags. Right around our table..so close...Hey TONY how about some service..or at least a refill of the brown bags that contained muffins so small we were all making the same joke; "look at how huge I am--I make this muffin appear small" Well LittleFoot didn't make that joke, she probably felt like she had finally found a normal sized muffin. I think BigFoot ate 15 of those--in 3 bites.
8:35--hey look appetizers. I think the strategy is starve them so the food will taste good no matter what. Well let me think here--a cheese plate, some fried green tomatoes and rustic french fries, well of course that took 45 minutes. At least Fucknuts-shitballs did bring the appetizers to us so we knew he still worked there. BTW the other tables seemed to be getting great service. 35 minutes between visits from Fuckbnuts-shitbags---oh sorry didn't mean to stress you out.
9:10--I have 15 more gray hairs, Mr. Crabs is wondering how soon the Nikkei was going to open and Bigfoot and myself went to the bathroom together to lighten the mood at the table or we just wanted to make the table behind us feel more comfortable. Wow here comes Fucknuts-shitbags with the entrees. He does still exist.
9:45--ShitYard drinkers entree was ice cold. I actually believe this all her fault. She was the only one who ordered elk and everyone knows they are hard to hunt down in Florida. We are pretty sure the potatoes went from the freezer to the plate. We had a Canadian with us and they are wonderful for a few things. Their Navy...oh wait that isn't one of them. They refuse to live with bad service. The Canadian called over Fucknuts-shitbags who feigned amazement that everyones entrees were cold. Only ShitYards was ice cold so that was the one we complained about the most. Heat lamps anyone? Timing 8 meals is too hard for a nice restaurant? Did they run out of plates? The elk trampled 2 of the sous chefs?
10:00--the manager comes out and asks what we want to do. I volunteer they should comp all the meals but I don't think I said it loud enough. One of the bottles of wine ended up being comped but ShitYards meal was still on the bill. Why do managers ask us what we want? What happened to we will comp your meal and all the wine. You are the m-a-n-a-g-e-r you are supposed to know what to do to make your customers happy! REMEMBER this--it always includes removing the offending meal from the bill. None of us will ever go back there.
Sidelights of the night: Fucknuts-shitbags seemed to lighten up when the other 2 tables left and actually showed some personality. He still sucks as a waiter but I think he took the stick out and promptly inserted in into...
Bigfoot ass. He ordered a double Kahlua, double Baileys decaf coffee. Turns out they had to put it in a pint glass and it was a $34.25 coffee! I will admit it was tasty but I am pretty sure we know where the stick went...no lube, no kissing, welcome to your $34.25 coffee.
Good times! At least we got to see Mr. Crabs act retarded for 15 minutes and recount our plans for the Short-Bus Olympics. Nothing like the 12 pack drinking 3 legged race.
I asked our waiter Anthony if we could call him Tony--his rather brusque answer was "NO I go by Anthony." Oh good an uptight waiter. Its not like I asked if I could call him Jackass.
(I didn't say the next line but in hindsight should have) Dude you are a waiter, we will be paying you to serve us, we should be able to call you anything with in reason or I should have just pulled a Tony Soprano like rant.
Apparently I angered him.
Guess what--you turned down the name Tony so from here on you will be called Fucknuts-Shitbags.
We showed up at the Rustic Grill in Sarasota expecting a great experience. None of us had been there except for Mr. Crabs, his ShitYard drinking--Yankees Fan Wife and myself for a film festival party a few years ago although we didn't eat there. Based on the ambiance from that night we had high hopes.
ShitYard drinker and I chatted when we arrived that we recalled some differences but than again there were 500 people the first time we were there and perhaps we had downed a few cocktails prior to the last visit. The fish tank was still there but alas the magic was gone.
Brief timeline
7:30--sit down, nice room, 2 other parties of at least 8 at the other 2 tables in the room. The table behind me was filled with 10 guys all dressed a little too well. Why did I let the "batting from the other side of the plate" table be at my back. I would have preferred knowing if I was going to be violated. At least if I saw it coming I could throw Mr. Crabs in front of me and let him take the brunt of it. I could even trip Bigfoot and use him as a door block. At 6' 6" if I wedged him in the door horizontally they would never get out. To be clear even though he is a sizable dude this would be my only chance of him protecting me from my from any anal invaders. I am pretty sure that the sub 5' LittleFoot is tougher.
7:45--order wine and some appetizers and ask my unfortunate naming convention question. Fucknuts-shitbags immediately showed how far that stick is up his ass.
8:00--this should have been our first clue besides the uptight waiter...15 minutes to bring the wine. It was selected by Mr. Crabs and we all agreed solid work there as they were both excellent.
8:30--is it me or have we been sitting here for 1 hour? Some rumbling beginning at the table..might be BigFoot's stomach though. I see the water lady glance at our table and my empty water glass but we don't exist to her...it is uncanny how she can manage to get the other 18 people in the room water but no one at our table! I realize there is a water shortage in Florida so does that mean they pick a large table every night and refuse water? ARE WE INVISIBLE? There goes Fucknuts-shitbags. Right around our table..so close...Hey TONY how about some service..or at least a refill of the brown bags that contained muffins so small we were all making the same joke; "look at how huge I am--I make this muffin appear small" Well LittleFoot didn't make that joke, she probably felt like she had finally found a normal sized muffin. I think BigFoot ate 15 of those--in 3 bites.
8:35--hey look appetizers. I think the strategy is starve them so the food will taste good no matter what. Well let me think here--a cheese plate, some fried green tomatoes and rustic french fries, well of course that took 45 minutes. At least Fucknuts-shitballs did bring the appetizers to us so we knew he still worked there. BTW the other tables seemed to be getting great service. 35 minutes between visits from Fuckbnuts-shitbags---oh sorry didn't mean to stress you out.
9:10--I have 15 more gray hairs, Mr. Crabs is wondering how soon the Nikkei was going to open and Bigfoot and myself went to the bathroom together to lighten the mood at the table or we just wanted to make the table behind us feel more comfortable. Wow here comes Fucknuts-shitbags with the entrees. He does still exist.
9:45--ShitYard drinkers entree was ice cold. I actually believe this all her fault. She was the only one who ordered elk and everyone knows they are hard to hunt down in Florida. We are pretty sure the potatoes went from the freezer to the plate. We had a Canadian with us and they are wonderful for a few things. Their Navy...oh wait that isn't one of them. They refuse to live with bad service. The Canadian called over Fucknuts-shitbags who feigned amazement that everyones entrees were cold. Only ShitYards was ice cold so that was the one we complained about the most. Heat lamps anyone? Timing 8 meals is too hard for a nice restaurant? Did they run out of plates? The elk trampled 2 of the sous chefs?
10:00--the manager comes out and asks what we want to do. I volunteer they should comp all the meals but I don't think I said it loud enough. One of the bottles of wine ended up being comped but ShitYards meal was still on the bill. Why do managers ask us what we want? What happened to we will comp your meal and all the wine. You are the m-a-n-a-g-e-r you are supposed to know what to do to make your customers happy! REMEMBER this--it always includes removing the offending meal from the bill. None of us will ever go back there.
Sidelights of the night: Fucknuts-shitbags seemed to lighten up when the other 2 tables left and actually showed some personality. He still sucks as a waiter but I think he took the stick out and promptly inserted in into...
Bigfoot ass. He ordered a double Kahlua, double Baileys decaf coffee. Turns out they had to put it in a pint glass and it was a $34.25 coffee! I will admit it was tasty but I am pretty sure we know where the stick went...no lube, no kissing, welcome to your $34.25 coffee.
Good times! At least we got to see Mr. Crabs act retarded for 15 minutes and recount our plans for the Short-Bus Olympics. Nothing like the 12 pack drinking 3 legged race.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Swing speed...you are questioning my swing speed!
I have been on the road for 11 days and will post about that saga later this week but I wanted to post about one thing that happened on my trip while I had a few minutes. This post needs some background information:
I have referred to that Geary's loving Mr. Crabs in prior posts but have not mentioned one of his job perks. It truly is a rough life he leads. Mr. Crabs has a smart (well she married him so we all question this a little), beautiful wife, wonderful kids (his son might be a soccer star, his daughter will either be a super model or run the world...she hasn't decided yet but she can pull off either career), a great house and a job he loves and makes a good living at. Isn't that enough for one man? NOOOO...
Mr. Crabs gets free golf balls. And not just any brand. He gets the best ball there is (ProV1....and did I mention they are free!)
He basically never has to buy golf balls. Through his job as a financial analyst companies are constantly giving him ProV1's. They used to also give him NXT's but apparently this admitted 18 handicap is too GOOD to play with NXT's. My theory is they are free....take them. He could always give the NXT's to us lesser golfers! Nope he would simply turn around and trade 18 NXT's for 12 ProV1's with other people in the office so now they only give him ProV1's. I think he has purchased 24 ProV1's in the past 2 years. 12 of them because he simply forgot to bring the free ones with him on a golf trip and the other 3 because he was at an elite private club and wanted their logo golf balls. I admittedly have been envious of this and he is nice enough to slip me 3 new ones a year for the annual scramble we play in with Patrick and BigFoot. He gives me his slightly used ones, sometimes these might have a scuff on them or in the case last week he was simply mad at the ball as he had 4 putted. I do appreciate him handing the ball to me instead of throwing it in the water.
So on my recent trip to San Jose I had a couple of meetings with my contacts at Avnet. The first meeting was very productive. We had beer, appetizers, wine, steak and more wine. Doesn't that sound productive? Oh yeah we did talk a little business and I met a new contact who is in charge of a lot of their marketing funds and promotional materials. We will call him Enzy. He was a very nice guy and frankly think he was happy to go to a dinner where the topics ranged from golfing Pebble Beach to the very questionable sexuality of our surgically altered waiter..errrr waitress. This "guy" had obviously attempted some sort of face lift and simply looked like what I expect Heath Ledger as the Joker to look like. (Pour some out for ones homeys). I am sure he was bored with the usual business dinners discussing dealing with HP (they are a tad difficult at times) and how depressing the economy is and how we can all be more succesful...blah blah lets talk about golf, sports and the freak shows around us. Much more fun!
So our 2nd meeting was actually about work. We were discussing possible marketing initiatives and how many funds Enzy could swing our way. Somehow (I truly didn't attempt to have this topic come up and I would admit if I did...as far as you know) the topic of marketing swag came up. Enzy mentioned he had closets full of stuff he can not get rid of including NXTs and wait for it....wait for it....ProV1s. Not just any ProV1 but he actually has the ProV1x. My favorite golf ball on the planet. BALL GO FAR...JACKPOT. So I casually mentioned that I might have a few clients who could use those. Enzy apparently saw right through this as he immediately questioned my swing speed. He said you know that those golf balls don't work for people without a fast enough swing speed. How dare he question that? Luckily for me I didn't have to come to my own defense as TM from Avnet was in the same meeting and he had played in a scramble with me last fall where I flew my drive 23 yards past the current and eventual winner of the long drive contest. I have never understood how my ball being 1 foot in the rough but 2 full clubs closer is ineligible for the long drive contest! ARRGGGHHH I have never claimed to be accurate, just long.
So anyways I am hoping to receive a package at my door in the next few weeks. There were no promises made but man 48 ProV1x's showing up at my door would make for a really good week!
I have referred to that Geary's loving Mr. Crabs in prior posts but have not mentioned one of his job perks. It truly is a rough life he leads. Mr. Crabs has a smart (well she married him so we all question this a little), beautiful wife, wonderful kids (his son might be a soccer star, his daughter will either be a super model or run the world...she hasn't decided yet but she can pull off either career), a great house and a job he loves and makes a good living at. Isn't that enough for one man? NOOOO...
Mr. Crabs gets free golf balls. And not just any brand. He gets the best ball there is (ProV1....and did I mention they are free!)
He basically never has to buy golf balls. Through his job as a financial analyst companies are constantly giving him ProV1's. They used to also give him NXT's but apparently this admitted 18 handicap is too GOOD to play with NXT's. My theory is they are free....take them. He could always give the NXT's to us lesser golfers! Nope he would simply turn around and trade 18 NXT's for 12 ProV1's with other people in the office so now they only give him ProV1's. I think he has purchased 24 ProV1's in the past 2 years. 12 of them because he simply forgot to bring the free ones with him on a golf trip and the other 3 because he was at an elite private club and wanted their logo golf balls. I admittedly have been envious of this and he is nice enough to slip me 3 new ones a year for the annual scramble we play in with Patrick and BigFoot. He gives me his slightly used ones, sometimes these might have a scuff on them or in the case last week he was simply mad at the ball as he had 4 putted. I do appreciate him handing the ball to me instead of throwing it in the water.
So on my recent trip to San Jose I had a couple of meetings with my contacts at Avnet. The first meeting was very productive. We had beer, appetizers, wine, steak and more wine. Doesn't that sound productive? Oh yeah we did talk a little business and I met a new contact who is in charge of a lot of their marketing funds and promotional materials. We will call him Enzy. He was a very nice guy and frankly think he was happy to go to a dinner where the topics ranged from golfing Pebble Beach to the very questionable sexuality of our surgically altered waiter..errrr waitress. This "guy" had obviously attempted some sort of face lift and simply looked like what I expect Heath Ledger as the Joker to look like. (Pour some out for ones homeys). I am sure he was bored with the usual business dinners discussing dealing with HP (they are a tad difficult at times) and how depressing the economy is and how we can all be more succesful...blah blah lets talk about golf, sports and the freak shows around us. Much more fun!
So our 2nd meeting was actually about work. We were discussing possible marketing initiatives and how many funds Enzy could swing our way. Somehow (I truly didn't attempt to have this topic come up and I would admit if I did...as far as you know) the topic of marketing swag came up. Enzy mentioned he had closets full of stuff he can not get rid of including NXTs and wait for it....wait for it....ProV1s. Not just any ProV1 but he actually has the ProV1x. My favorite golf ball on the planet. BALL GO FAR...JACKPOT. So I casually mentioned that I might have a few clients who could use those. Enzy apparently saw right through this as he immediately questioned my swing speed. He said you know that those golf balls don't work for people without a fast enough swing speed. How dare he question that? Luckily for me I didn't have to come to my own defense as TM from Avnet was in the same meeting and he had played in a scramble with me last fall where I flew my drive 23 yards past the current and eventual winner of the long drive contest. I have never understood how my ball being 1 foot in the rough but 2 full clubs closer is ineligible for the long drive contest! ARRGGGHHH I have never claimed to be accurate, just long.
So anyways I am hoping to receive a package at my door in the next few weeks. There were no promises made but man 48 ProV1x's showing up at my door would make for a really good week!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The Great Geary's Transport of 2008
So what I failed to discuss in my last post was how the weekend ended. I had intentionally stashed 6 Geary's (2 Hampshire Ales, 2 Summer Ales, and 2 Winter Ales.) to bring home to my buddy in Bradenton. We will call him Mr. Crabs. For those who are not familiar with SpongeBob Square Pants, Mr. Crabs favorite saying is Money, money, money, money. That pretty much describes him. His wife loves the Yankees and ShitYard. So even though she is a dear friend you will not hear much about her in my posts. Just kidding! (Side note: From now on GrapeApe is to be called Patrick from SpongeBob. The GrapeApe nickname was retired years ago and Patrick works better. BigFoot is SquidWard and I am SpongeBob. But BigFoot will always be BigFoot!)
My long lost cousin Nate found the stash even though I hid it under the ginormous trash bag of empties. So when I awoke on Sunday morning to find that all but the 2 Winters were gone I knew I had to to do something. The first stop of the day was at Dunkin Donuts so my lovely wife and I could get coffee and Everything Bagels. Their was a convenience store attached to the DD but they didn't have any Summer Ale. So on we stopped at the Forest Ave. Hannaford Bros. Our favorite Hannaford Bros ever. The 6 pack of Summer Ale was $8.99. The Brewer's Choice 12 pack with 3 Summer Ales, 3 London Porter's, 3 Pale Ales, and 3 HSA was only $12.99. So now I had a dilemma. Could I transport the remaining 2 Winter's plus the 12 pack? 14 beers in a suitcase? Well I couldn't pass up that challenge and Mr. Crabs wouldn't forgive me if I only showed up with 2 beers. Plus he would have quickly done the math on the 12 pack vs. 6 pack price and seen the bargain of 6 more beers for $4. I really had no choice. So with the 12 beers still packed in the box with my t-shirts (yes they were clean) stuffed in around them and the 2 Winter's wrapped in my nicest shirts I showed up at the airport. My suitcase went from weighing 27 pounds to 47 pounds. I have told you before these are heavy beers but they are even heavier than I realized. Ok so maybe it is the thick bottles...but I am chalking it up to beer weight.
The transport went great and there was only 1 challenge left. To get the beer from Miami to Bradenton. I kept the beer in the fridge all week as I didn't want it to undergo too many temperature changes. On the drive to Bradenton I put the beer at the foot of the passenger seat and kept the passenger side colder for the whole trip. I arrive at Mr. Crabs house and delivered the beer to the new garage beer fridge. Mr. Crabs was so happy he even let me drink 2 of the Geary's this weekend. Good times.
So I set a modern day record for airplane beer delivery. The reason for the modern day and airplane caveats are as follows:
1) Prior to the limitations on liquids on planes I brought a case of Geary's HSA on the plane as my carry on. 24 beers made it to the TPA parking garage. 23 beer and 1 pair of wife my wife's ripped pants left. She somehow ripped the entire ass seam in her pants and dropped the case. Mr. Crabs and I were not sure what to do; Ask if she is ok or stare in astonishment that she would drop the case of HSA and check to see how many made it. Lucky for me I recovered fairly quickly and checked on her as we were still in the courting stage. I really did feel bad for her. She knew how much Mr. Crabs valued that beer and how much work I put into carrying it every where. Plus she was out a pair of pants and a tad embarrassed.
2)When discussing non-airplane delivery I have to give a shout out to Dad and Trish (I assume she is in a better place right now but somehow will know I am writing this.) as they brought 2 cases of HSA last year from Maine to Miami in the back of the Tundra. Not in the truck bed but in the cab. They know how to treat beer. I then brought a case to Mr. Crabs as his Christmas present. He mentioned that it might be his best Christmas present ever. No offense Yankee Fan ShitYard drinking wife.
So that was the Great Geary's Transport of April 2008.
My long lost cousin Nate found the stash even though I hid it under the ginormous trash bag of empties. So when I awoke on Sunday morning to find that all but the 2 Winters were gone I knew I had to to do something. The first stop of the day was at Dunkin Donuts so my lovely wife and I could get coffee and Everything Bagels. Their was a convenience store attached to the DD but they didn't have any Summer Ale. So on we stopped at the Forest Ave. Hannaford Bros. Our favorite Hannaford Bros ever. The 6 pack of Summer Ale was $8.99. The Brewer's Choice 12 pack with 3 Summer Ales, 3 London Porter's, 3 Pale Ales, and 3 HSA was only $12.99. So now I had a dilemma. Could I transport the remaining 2 Winter's plus the 12 pack? 14 beers in a suitcase? Well I couldn't pass up that challenge and Mr. Crabs wouldn't forgive me if I only showed up with 2 beers. Plus he would have quickly done the math on the 12 pack vs. 6 pack price and seen the bargain of 6 more beers for $4. I really had no choice. So with the 12 beers still packed in the box with my t-shirts (yes they were clean) stuffed in around them and the 2 Winter's wrapped in my nicest shirts I showed up at the airport. My suitcase went from weighing 27 pounds to 47 pounds. I have told you before these are heavy beers but they are even heavier than I realized. Ok so maybe it is the thick bottles...but I am chalking it up to beer weight.
The transport went great and there was only 1 challenge left. To get the beer from Miami to Bradenton. I kept the beer in the fridge all week as I didn't want it to undergo too many temperature changes. On the drive to Bradenton I put the beer at the foot of the passenger seat and kept the passenger side colder for the whole trip. I arrive at Mr. Crabs house and delivered the beer to the new garage beer fridge. Mr. Crabs was so happy he even let me drink 2 of the Geary's this weekend. Good times.
So I set a modern day record for airplane beer delivery. The reason for the modern day and airplane caveats are as follows:
1) Prior to the limitations on liquids on planes I brought a case of Geary's HSA on the plane as my carry on. 24 beers made it to the TPA parking garage. 23 beer and 1 pair of wife my wife's ripped pants left. She somehow ripped the entire ass seam in her pants and dropped the case. Mr. Crabs and I were not sure what to do; Ask if she is ok or stare in astonishment that she would drop the case of HSA and check to see how many made it. Lucky for me I recovered fairly quickly and checked on her as we were still in the courting stage. I really did feel bad for her. She knew how much Mr. Crabs valued that beer and how much work I put into carrying it every where. Plus she was out a pair of pants and a tad embarrassed.
2)When discussing non-airplane delivery I have to give a shout out to Dad and Trish (I assume she is in a better place right now but somehow will know I am writing this.) as they brought 2 cases of HSA last year from Maine to Miami in the back of the Tundra. Not in the truck bed but in the cab. They know how to treat beer. I then brought a case to Mr. Crabs as his Christmas present. He mentioned that it might be his best Christmas present ever. No offense Yankee Fan ShitYard drinking wife.
So that was the Great Geary's Transport of April 2008.
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