Stick and Balls Golf Week

Every year Grape Ape, Hendersfheg, BF and I have a golf week. Golf week is something we all look forward to for 50 weeks a year, often acting as though we were sailors released on shore leave with all the booze we can drink and an under-sexed group of hookers (ummm my wife wrote this part so apparently we can have hookers next year). Recovery time from golf week is approximately 1 week, which seems to take longer every year we grow older. Two weeks out we are readily looking forward to the following year.

We have a few traditions that we try to stick to:

1) Finish 2nd in the Tropics Open. We are going up against much better teams but somehow we always finish 2nd and usually win a skin. One player every year steps up and one steps down..this year I stepped down.

2) Drink lots of Gearys and then drink some more Gearys.

3) Hendersfheg and I find something other than golf to compete in, real or imaginary. A few years ago Hendersfheg bet me $10,000 that he could beat me in a cycling race. Of course he didn't own one at the time one , so I felt it was a pretty safe bet. This years gambling was centered around pool thanks to BF's new game room. I think we played about 20 games and handed $20 back and forth at least 10 times. Hendersfheg won the $20 in the end basically because he wouldn't let me go to bed until he was winning.

4) Go to Keene and play 36 at Bretwoods the day after the tournament. While it's a long travel just to play golf, Bretwoods holds a special place in all of our hearts. We had one of our all time gayest moments as a group there. Imagine a beautiful day on the course interrupted by a sporadic thundershower. We were out on the course when the foul weather swept in, forcing us to take cover under one of the picturesque covered bridges. I guess it wasn't that gay at the time, but the way Hendersfheg talks about it...well that is pretty gay.

5) BF, Grape Ape and Hendersfheg harsh each other all week. The cool thing is Grape Ape has gotten funnier as he gets older. I try to avoid this as much as possible.

5) Play the Stick and Balls match play tournament.

Part of golf week is a match play tournament we call "Stick and Balls". The Stick and Balls tournament has been going on since 1999 and has taken on numerous iterations including amount of rounds, players (BF joined in circa 2001), and names. There is no trophy for the simple reason that until this year Hendersfheg has one it every year. He has always been a better golfer than the rest of us including at one point being as low as a 14 handicap. The rest of us range from 18 to 25. (Grape Ape only plays 2 or 3 times a year outside of golf week so his handicap has risen)

Strangely enough now that Hendersfheg lives in a state where you can golf year round his handicap has ballooned to an 18 which is my handicap as well.

So now we need a trophy! Why? Because for the first time in tournament history someone besides Hendersfheg was victorious and that would be me. I mean why else would I write so much about this.

Their were two minor downsides to the victory. I played great the day before the Tropics and the the afternoon after the Tropics but played poorly when my teammates needed me. I would trade the victory in Stick and Balls for the Tropics win. The other issue was Hendersfheg's elbow. You can tell we are getting old when he loses the tournament due an elbow injury sustained 6 months earlier putting away Christmas decorations.

I have been told there will be no asterisk next to my name on the trophy however!

I am victorious.