I want to apologize to the 8 people I had dinner with Saturday night.
I asked our waiter Anthony if we could call him Tony--his rather brusque answer was "NO I go by Anthony." Oh good an uptight waiter. Its not like I asked if I could call him Jackass.
(I didn't say the next line but in hindsight should have) Dude you are a waiter, we will be paying you to serve us, we should be able to call you anything with in reason or I should have just pulled a Tony Soprano like rant.
Apparently I angered him.
Guess what--you turned down the name Tony so from here on you will be called Fucknuts-Shitbags.
We showed up at the Rustic Grill in Sarasota expecting a great experience. None of us had been there except for Mr. Crabs, his ShitYard drinking--Yankees Fan Wife and myself for a film festival party a few years ago although we didn't eat there. Based on the ambiance from that night we had high hopes.
ShitYard drinker and I chatted when we arrived that we recalled some differences but than again there were 500 people the first time we were there and perhaps we had downed a few cocktails prior to the last visit. The fish tank was still there but alas the magic was gone.
Brief timeline
7:30--sit down, nice room, 2 other parties of at least 8 at the other 2 tables in the room. The table behind me was filled with 10 guys all dressed a little too well. Why did I let the "batting from the other side of the plate" table be at my back. I would have preferred knowing if I was going to be violated. At least if I saw it coming I could throw Mr. Crabs in front of me and let him take the brunt of it. I could even trip Bigfoot and use him as a door block. At 6' 6" if I wedged him in the door horizontally they would never get out. To be clear even though he is a sizable dude this would be my only chance of him protecting me from my from any anal invaders. I am pretty sure that the sub 5' LittleFoot is tougher.
7:45--order wine and some appetizers and ask my unfortunate naming convention question. Fucknuts-shitbags immediately showed how far that stick is up his ass.
8:00--this should have been our first clue besides the uptight waiter...15 minutes to bring the wine. It was selected by Mr. Crabs and we all agreed solid work there as they were both excellent.
8:30--is it me or have we been sitting here for 1 hour? Some rumbling beginning at the table..might be BigFoot's stomach though. I see the water lady glance at our table and my empty water glass but we don't exist to her...it is uncanny how she can manage to get the other 18 people in the room water but no one at our table! I realize there is a water shortage in Florida so does that mean they pick a large table every night and refuse water? ARE WE INVISIBLE? There goes Fucknuts-shitbags. Right around our table..so close...Hey TONY how about some service..or at least a refill of the brown bags that contained muffins so small we were all making the same joke; "look at how huge I am--I make this muffin appear small" Well LittleFoot didn't make that joke, she probably felt like she had finally found a normal sized muffin. I think BigFoot ate 15 of those--in 3 bites.
8:35--hey look appetizers. I think the strategy is starve them so the food will taste good no matter what. Well let me think here--a cheese plate, some fried green tomatoes and rustic french fries, well of course that took 45 minutes. At least Fucknuts-shitballs did bring the appetizers to us so we knew he still worked there. BTW the other tables seemed to be getting great service. 35 minutes between visits from Fuckbnuts-shitbags---oh sorry didn't mean to stress you out.
9:10--I have 15 more gray hairs, Mr. Crabs is wondering how soon the Nikkei was going to open and Bigfoot and myself went to the bathroom together to lighten the mood at the table or we just wanted to make the table behind us feel more comfortable. Wow here comes Fucknuts-shitbags with the entrees. He does still exist.
9:45--ShitYard drinkers entree was ice cold. I actually believe this all her fault. She was the only one who ordered elk and everyone knows they are hard to hunt down in Florida. We are pretty sure the potatoes went from the freezer to the plate. We had a Canadian with us and they are wonderful for a few things. Their Navy...oh wait that isn't one of them. They refuse to live with bad service. The Canadian called over Fucknuts-shitbags who feigned amazement that everyones entrees were cold. Only ShitYards was ice cold so that was the one we complained about the most. Heat lamps anyone? Timing 8 meals is too hard for a nice restaurant? Did they run out of plates? The elk trampled 2 of the sous chefs?
10:00--the manager comes out and asks what we want to do. I volunteer they should comp all the meals but I don't think I said it loud enough. One of the bottles of wine ended up being comped but ShitYards meal was still on the bill. Why do managers ask us what we want? What happened to we will comp your meal and all the wine. You are the m-a-n-a-g-e-r you are supposed to know what to do to make your customers happy! REMEMBER this--it always includes removing the offending meal from the bill. None of us will ever go back there.
Sidelights of the night: Fucknuts-shitbags seemed to lighten up when the other 2 tables left and actually showed some personality. He still sucks as a waiter but I think he took the stick out and promptly inserted in into...
Bigfoot ass. He ordered a double Kahlua, double Baileys decaf coffee. Turns out they had to put it in a pint glass and it was a $34.25 coffee! I will admit it was tasty but I am pretty sure we know where the stick went...no lube, no kissing, welcome to your $34.25 coffee.
Good times! At least we got to see Mr. Crabs act retarded for 15 minutes and recount our plans for the Short-Bus Olympics. Nothing like the 12 pack drinking 3 legged race.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Swing speed...you are questioning my swing speed!
I have been on the road for 11 days and will post about that saga later this week but I wanted to post about one thing that happened on my trip while I had a few minutes. This post needs some background information:
I have referred to that Geary's loving Mr. Crabs in prior posts but have not mentioned one of his job perks. It truly is a rough life he leads. Mr. Crabs has a smart (well she married him so we all question this a little), beautiful wife, wonderful kids (his son might be a soccer star, his daughter will either be a super model or run the world...she hasn't decided yet but she can pull off either career), a great house and a job he loves and makes a good living at. Isn't that enough for one man? NOOOO...
Mr. Crabs gets free golf balls. And not just any brand. He gets the best ball there is (ProV1....and did I mention they are free!)
He basically never has to buy golf balls. Through his job as a financial analyst companies are constantly giving him ProV1's. They used to also give him NXT's but apparently this admitted 18 handicap is too GOOD to play with NXT's. My theory is they are free....take them. He could always give the NXT's to us lesser golfers! Nope he would simply turn around and trade 18 NXT's for 12 ProV1's with other people in the office so now they only give him ProV1's. I think he has purchased 24 ProV1's in the past 2 years. 12 of them because he simply forgot to bring the free ones with him on a golf trip and the other 3 because he was at an elite private club and wanted their logo golf balls. I admittedly have been envious of this and he is nice enough to slip me 3 new ones a year for the annual scramble we play in with Patrick and BigFoot. He gives me his slightly used ones, sometimes these might have a scuff on them or in the case last week he was simply mad at the ball as he had 4 putted. I do appreciate him handing the ball to me instead of throwing it in the water.
So on my recent trip to San Jose I had a couple of meetings with my contacts at Avnet. The first meeting was very productive. We had beer, appetizers, wine, steak and more wine. Doesn't that sound productive? Oh yeah we did talk a little business and I met a new contact who is in charge of a lot of their marketing funds and promotional materials. We will call him Enzy. He was a very nice guy and frankly think he was happy to go to a dinner where the topics ranged from golfing Pebble Beach to the very questionable sexuality of our surgically altered waiter..errrr waitress. This "guy" had obviously attempted some sort of face lift and simply looked like what I expect Heath Ledger as the Joker to look like. (Pour some out for ones homeys). I am sure he was bored with the usual business dinners discussing dealing with HP (they are a tad difficult at times) and how depressing the economy is and how we can all be more succesful...blah blah lets talk about golf, sports and the freak shows around us. Much more fun!
So our 2nd meeting was actually about work. We were discussing possible marketing initiatives and how many funds Enzy could swing our way. Somehow (I truly didn't attempt to have this topic come up and I would admit if I did...as far as you know) the topic of marketing swag came up. Enzy mentioned he had closets full of stuff he can not get rid of including NXTs and wait for it....wait for it....ProV1s. Not just any ProV1 but he actually has the ProV1x. My favorite golf ball on the planet. BALL GO FAR...JACKPOT. So I casually mentioned that I might have a few clients who could use those. Enzy apparently saw right through this as he immediately questioned my swing speed. He said you know that those golf balls don't work for people without a fast enough swing speed. How dare he question that? Luckily for me I didn't have to come to my own defense as TM from Avnet was in the same meeting and he had played in a scramble with me last fall where I flew my drive 23 yards past the current and eventual winner of the long drive contest. I have never understood how my ball being 1 foot in the rough but 2 full clubs closer is ineligible for the long drive contest! ARRGGGHHH I have never claimed to be accurate, just long.
So anyways I am hoping to receive a package at my door in the next few weeks. There were no promises made but man 48 ProV1x's showing up at my door would make for a really good week!
I have referred to that Geary's loving Mr. Crabs in prior posts but have not mentioned one of his job perks. It truly is a rough life he leads. Mr. Crabs has a smart (well she married him so we all question this a little), beautiful wife, wonderful kids (his son might be a soccer star, his daughter will either be a super model or run the world...she hasn't decided yet but she can pull off either career), a great house and a job he loves and makes a good living at. Isn't that enough for one man? NOOOO...
Mr. Crabs gets free golf balls. And not just any brand. He gets the best ball there is (ProV1....and did I mention they are free!)
He basically never has to buy golf balls. Through his job as a financial analyst companies are constantly giving him ProV1's. They used to also give him NXT's but apparently this admitted 18 handicap is too GOOD to play with NXT's. My theory is they are free....take them. He could always give the NXT's to us lesser golfers! Nope he would simply turn around and trade 18 NXT's for 12 ProV1's with other people in the office so now they only give him ProV1's. I think he has purchased 24 ProV1's in the past 2 years. 12 of them because he simply forgot to bring the free ones with him on a golf trip and the other 3 because he was at an elite private club and wanted their logo golf balls. I admittedly have been envious of this and he is nice enough to slip me 3 new ones a year for the annual scramble we play in with Patrick and BigFoot. He gives me his slightly used ones, sometimes these might have a scuff on them or in the case last week he was simply mad at the ball as he had 4 putted. I do appreciate him handing the ball to me instead of throwing it in the water.
So on my recent trip to San Jose I had a couple of meetings with my contacts at Avnet. The first meeting was very productive. We had beer, appetizers, wine, steak and more wine. Doesn't that sound productive? Oh yeah we did talk a little business and I met a new contact who is in charge of a lot of their marketing funds and promotional materials. We will call him Enzy. He was a very nice guy and frankly think he was happy to go to a dinner where the topics ranged from golfing Pebble Beach to the very questionable sexuality of our surgically altered waiter..errrr waitress. This "guy" had obviously attempted some sort of face lift and simply looked like what I expect Heath Ledger as the Joker to look like. (Pour some out for ones homeys). I am sure he was bored with the usual business dinners discussing dealing with HP (they are a tad difficult at times) and how depressing the economy is and how we can all be more succesful...blah blah lets talk about golf, sports and the freak shows around us. Much more fun!
So our 2nd meeting was actually about work. We were discussing possible marketing initiatives and how many funds Enzy could swing our way. Somehow (I truly didn't attempt to have this topic come up and I would admit if I did...as far as you know) the topic of marketing swag came up. Enzy mentioned he had closets full of stuff he can not get rid of including NXTs and wait for it....wait for it....ProV1s. Not just any ProV1 but he actually has the ProV1x. My favorite golf ball on the planet. BALL GO FAR...JACKPOT. So I casually mentioned that I might have a few clients who could use those. Enzy apparently saw right through this as he immediately questioned my swing speed. He said you know that those golf balls don't work for people without a fast enough swing speed. How dare he question that? Luckily for me I didn't have to come to my own defense as TM from Avnet was in the same meeting and he had played in a scramble with me last fall where I flew my drive 23 yards past the current and eventual winner of the long drive contest. I have never understood how my ball being 1 foot in the rough but 2 full clubs closer is ineligible for the long drive contest! ARRGGGHHH I have never claimed to be accurate, just long.
So anyways I am hoping to receive a package at my door in the next few weeks. There were no promises made but man 48 ProV1x's showing up at my door would make for a really good week!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The Great Geary's Transport of 2008
So what I failed to discuss in my last post was how the weekend ended. I had intentionally stashed 6 Geary's (2 Hampshire Ales, 2 Summer Ales, and 2 Winter Ales.) to bring home to my buddy in Bradenton. We will call him Mr. Crabs. For those who are not familiar with SpongeBob Square Pants, Mr. Crabs favorite saying is Money, money, money, money. That pretty much describes him. His wife loves the Yankees and ShitYard. So even though she is a dear friend you will not hear much about her in my posts. Just kidding! (Side note: From now on GrapeApe is to be called Patrick from SpongeBob. The GrapeApe nickname was retired years ago and Patrick works better. BigFoot is SquidWard and I am SpongeBob. But BigFoot will always be BigFoot!)
My long lost cousin Nate found the stash even though I hid it under the ginormous trash bag of empties. So when I awoke on Sunday morning to find that all but the 2 Winters were gone I knew I had to to do something. The first stop of the day was at Dunkin Donuts so my lovely wife and I could get coffee and Everything Bagels. Their was a convenience store attached to the DD but they didn't have any Summer Ale. So on we stopped at the Forest Ave. Hannaford Bros. Our favorite Hannaford Bros ever. The 6 pack of Summer Ale was $8.99. The Brewer's Choice 12 pack with 3 Summer Ales, 3 London Porter's, 3 Pale Ales, and 3 HSA was only $12.99. So now I had a dilemma. Could I transport the remaining 2 Winter's plus the 12 pack? 14 beers in a suitcase? Well I couldn't pass up that challenge and Mr. Crabs wouldn't forgive me if I only showed up with 2 beers. Plus he would have quickly done the math on the 12 pack vs. 6 pack price and seen the bargain of 6 more beers for $4. I really had no choice. So with the 12 beers still packed in the box with my t-shirts (yes they were clean) stuffed in around them and the 2 Winter's wrapped in my nicest shirts I showed up at the airport. My suitcase went from weighing 27 pounds to 47 pounds. I have told you before these are heavy beers but they are even heavier than I realized. Ok so maybe it is the thick bottles...but I am chalking it up to beer weight.
The transport went great and there was only 1 challenge left. To get the beer from Miami to Bradenton. I kept the beer in the fridge all week as I didn't want it to undergo too many temperature changes. On the drive to Bradenton I put the beer at the foot of the passenger seat and kept the passenger side colder for the whole trip. I arrive at Mr. Crabs house and delivered the beer to the new garage beer fridge. Mr. Crabs was so happy he even let me drink 2 of the Geary's this weekend. Good times.
So I set a modern day record for airplane beer delivery. The reason for the modern day and airplane caveats are as follows:
1) Prior to the limitations on liquids on planes I brought a case of Geary's HSA on the plane as my carry on. 24 beers made it to the TPA parking garage. 23 beer and 1 pair of wife my wife's ripped pants left. She somehow ripped the entire ass seam in her pants and dropped the case. Mr. Crabs and I were not sure what to do; Ask if she is ok or stare in astonishment that she would drop the case of HSA and check to see how many made it. Lucky for me I recovered fairly quickly and checked on her as we were still in the courting stage. I really did feel bad for her. She knew how much Mr. Crabs valued that beer and how much work I put into carrying it every where. Plus she was out a pair of pants and a tad embarrassed.
2)When discussing non-airplane delivery I have to give a shout out to Dad and Trish (I assume she is in a better place right now but somehow will know I am writing this.) as they brought 2 cases of HSA last year from Maine to Miami in the back of the Tundra. Not in the truck bed but in the cab. They know how to treat beer. I then brought a case to Mr. Crabs as his Christmas present. He mentioned that it might be his best Christmas present ever. No offense Yankee Fan ShitYard drinking wife.
So that was the Great Geary's Transport of April 2008.
My long lost cousin Nate found the stash even though I hid it under the ginormous trash bag of empties. So when I awoke on Sunday morning to find that all but the 2 Winters were gone I knew I had to to do something. The first stop of the day was at Dunkin Donuts so my lovely wife and I could get coffee and Everything Bagels. Their was a convenience store attached to the DD but they didn't have any Summer Ale. So on we stopped at the Forest Ave. Hannaford Bros. Our favorite Hannaford Bros ever. The 6 pack of Summer Ale was $8.99. The Brewer's Choice 12 pack with 3 Summer Ales, 3 London Porter's, 3 Pale Ales, and 3 HSA was only $12.99. So now I had a dilemma. Could I transport the remaining 2 Winter's plus the 12 pack? 14 beers in a suitcase? Well I couldn't pass up that challenge and Mr. Crabs wouldn't forgive me if I only showed up with 2 beers. Plus he would have quickly done the math on the 12 pack vs. 6 pack price and seen the bargain of 6 more beers for $4. I really had no choice. So with the 12 beers still packed in the box with my t-shirts (yes they were clean) stuffed in around them and the 2 Winter's wrapped in my nicest shirts I showed up at the airport. My suitcase went from weighing 27 pounds to 47 pounds. I have told you before these are heavy beers but they are even heavier than I realized. Ok so maybe it is the thick bottles...but I am chalking it up to beer weight.
The transport went great and there was only 1 challenge left. To get the beer from Miami to Bradenton. I kept the beer in the fridge all week as I didn't want it to undergo too many temperature changes. On the drive to Bradenton I put the beer at the foot of the passenger seat and kept the passenger side colder for the whole trip. I arrive at Mr. Crabs house and delivered the beer to the new garage beer fridge. Mr. Crabs was so happy he even let me drink 2 of the Geary's this weekend. Good times.
So I set a modern day record for airplane beer delivery. The reason for the modern day and airplane caveats are as follows:
1) Prior to the limitations on liquids on planes I brought a case of Geary's HSA on the plane as my carry on. 24 beers made it to the TPA parking garage. 23 beer and 1 pair of wife my wife's ripped pants left. She somehow ripped the entire ass seam in her pants and dropped the case. Mr. Crabs and I were not sure what to do; Ask if she is ok or stare in astonishment that she would drop the case of HSA and check to see how many made it. Lucky for me I recovered fairly quickly and checked on her as we were still in the courting stage. I really did feel bad for her. She knew how much Mr. Crabs valued that beer and how much work I put into carrying it every where. Plus she was out a pair of pants and a tad embarrassed.
2)When discussing non-airplane delivery I have to give a shout out to Dad and Trish (I assume she is in a better place right now but somehow will know I am writing this.) as they brought 2 cases of HSA last year from Maine to Miami in the back of the Tundra. Not in the truck bed but in the cab. They know how to treat beer. I then brought a case to Mr. Crabs as his Christmas present. He mentioned that it might be his best Christmas present ever. No offense Yankee Fan ShitYard drinking wife.
So that was the Great Geary's Transport of April 2008.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Post Celebration Recap
The celebration for my step-mom Trish went great. All of the friends and family showed a great amount of support. I must admit I don't think I knew more than 30% of the people there. I am sure I met most of them at one point in my life. This is just further proof of how large of an impact Trish had on people lives.
Trish's sister Donna and her friend Ray did a great job with the eulogies and I was told that my sister and I did a good job with the poems Trish chose for us to read, but what affected me most was were the people who spoke during the "open session". These people were willing to speak in front of 150 people while bawling their eyes out. That says as much about how many lives Trish impacted and how deep that impact was. The amazing thing was they basically all said the same things about Trish: "graceful, willlowy, kind, gentle passionate, adventurous, witty". There were some different themes but they all came back to the same general idea. The quantity and quality of what they said will stay with me forever and drive me to continue to be a better person.
There was one exception that I will touch on later in this post. We are still in the positive phase of this post.
I need to give a shout out to my wife. She came down with the flu less than 24 hours prior to the service yet still went. She had a fever of around 102 combined with the well known fact she is a crier she felt more like she had a temperature of 104. Thank you for being there and supporting me. BTW if anyone who went to the service came down with the flu this paragraph will self destruct in 5 seconds.
Slim and family drove the 3 hours each way even though they knew the shelve lives of their young children wouldn't let them see a whole lot of anyone but they wanted to show their support for their family and that was greatly appreciated. Their kids are so cute just having them their was uplifting. Slim's wife according to my Dad is more beautiful than ever. Dad has always been a smooth one. I do not disagree with him though, motherhood has treated her very well. Apparently all fatherhood has done for Slim is give him even more gray hair. He was sharply dressed though and as Slim as ever.
BigFoot (BF) and LittleFoot (LF) were there for the service and the get together at my Dad's house. BTW he is 6' 6" and she is 3' 8" or something like that. Okay so she is actually 4' 11" but still the size difference is staggering yet they fit together as well as any couple I know. They also brought Bob. Surprisingly with that name you would think that is their son but that is the name of their new AussieDoodle puppy. Super cute dog and already being trained very well not that is suprising to anyone who knows BF. I never thought LF would let BF name their dog Bob. Solid work BF. Bob was a hit with Czervik's son and the adults as well. People were a tad concerned when BF kept referring to Bob as having to go to this cage but LF assured them he was referring to crate training. I hope she is right. Having the vertically challenged couple there was great. BF has probably spent more time with Trish than any of the homeys and he lost his father to cancer a little over 10 years ago so he understood more than most what I was going through. Sometimes I have no words for how great my friends are to me!
GrapeApe and his wife were there for everything which was great. They are some of the most laid back and fun people you could ever hang around with. GrapeApe will miss Trish in numerous ways as she was the first adult to push beer on him and unfortunately she also witnessed the WittDaddy choreographed Butt Dance. That is right, these are my friends. They are looking forward to my wife and I moving back to New England and even promised to go camping with us this year. We will see if that happens as this is one extremely busy family with a a couple of kids and their own business. Either way it will be great to see more of them.
One of the most entertaining moments for all of us was why a certain person (Czervik) didn't show up for the service due to...ummm....problems with their driving records and the officer who didn't like him doing 40 in a 25. Enough said. The great part was Czervik, the boy and the fiance all showed up for the gathering afterwards. Czervik is pretty funny and his boy is so cute that he can not help be the life of the party. I mean the boy not you Czervik!
My friends being there was a great tribute to how Trish and my Dad treated them and to how strong our friendships are. I want to thank you all. I need to throw in a mention of our boy in Bradenton. He called to offer his family's support knowing that I would be drinking Geary's which I promptly made sure he knew.
I also got to reunite with my cousin Nate who I probably haven't seen in over 20 years. He is a good guy and lucky for us works in a large bike shop. Can you say discount! Unfortunately he also had a run in with the cops last weekend. He left our house at 3:3o AM to go to the airport. I am fairly sure he stopped drinking when I did which was around 10 PM so that hopefully wasn't an issue. Unfortunately he was caught doing 105 on Interstate 95. The speed limit is only 65 and, well, he doesn't have a current license so he was hauled off to jail. I wonder what Trish thinks about all of this. She definitely drove fast but she was able to stay out of trouble. Maybe 105 is too fast?
My sister was a trooper all weekend. She had to plan a lot of the service as I couldn't do much from Miami and Dad was busy with numerous planning activities. She pulled together a lot of the service items including the 2 co-workers who volunteered to coordinate the food. This was no easy feat as we had friends, family and a restaurant all providing the food. That was an amazing gesture by Luanne and Deirdre. Thank you both so much. My sister not only coordinated the drinks and all service items but also managed to get her friend Derrick to play live music. Trish wanted the Beatle's song "In My Life" to be played at her service and Derrick learned the song just for this one playing. To top this all off my sister had to speak in public. Between getting thrown into a pit of snakes and speaking in public it would a be a tough choice for her but she stood up in front of 150 people and read a poem with all the poise of a seasoned public speaker.
Dad was great. He worked hard to put together what Trish wanted and I know he was pleased with the overall tenor of things. He guessed there would be around 150 people attending and he was pretty accurate. He also gets to fill in for Trish at margarita night so that made him pretty happy. He handled himself very well and I know that he truly misses Trish but with so much going on he had to keep it together and he did. He will be ok. It will not be easy but he is tough and unfortunately has been preparing for this for the last few years.
All in all a great tribute to Trish, except for...the Cousin!
Her cousin was supposed to sing the Rose by Bette Midler. She was the last speaker/singer and what we thought was going to be a 30 minute service had already careened well past an hour due to the amount of people who wanted to pay tribute.
How long could singing this song take, 3, maybe 5 minutes? I have read entire works of fiction in less time then it took the crazy cousin to get through this
She read each and every stanza in order to tell us what the words meant to her. Did she forget she was about "sing" each and every stanza? Also this is a well known song and not one that you would generally think of needed translating. It is pretty straight forward. Now if she had related these meanings to Trish that would be one thing but does the following sounds like it is about Trish: (oh yeah she is already 10 minutes in to preaching when she says this)
"I have made many mistakes in my life, I mean big big mistakes. Life changing mistakes bigger than you would ever guess. (At this point I am invested and would like to know what this person has done that is so bad, or at least why we deserve to sit through this.) I made these because "It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance". (Ummm ok. The look on her face actually scared me at this point.) I want you to understand you have to forgive, I man my father was an asshole but I forgave him. Ok wait my father really isn't an asshole that was just an example. I actually love my father very much. (BTW he was there and I the look on his face was, well fairly astounded to put it mildly. With all of the assholes in the world why would you choose your father as an example when he is sitting 25 feet from you. Choose someone none of us know. She clearly has issues with her father that she hasn't dealt with.)
Fifteen minutes of preaching and mind blowing confessions later she finally got around singing the song, which is all Trish wanted her to do. I just hope the experience was as cathartic for the cousin as it was painful for everyone else.
Thank you to everyone for their support.
Trish's sister Donna and her friend Ray did a great job with the eulogies and I was told that my sister and I did a good job with the poems Trish chose for us to read, but what affected me most was were the people who spoke during the "open session". These people were willing to speak in front of 150 people while bawling their eyes out. That says as much about how many lives Trish impacted and how deep that impact was. The amazing thing was they basically all said the same things about Trish: "graceful, willlowy, kind, gentle passionate, adventurous, witty". There were some different themes but they all came back to the same general idea. The quantity and quality of what they said will stay with me forever and drive me to continue to be a better person.
There was one exception that I will touch on later in this post. We are still in the positive phase of this post.
I need to give a shout out to my wife. She came down with the flu less than 24 hours prior to the service yet still went. She had a fever of around 102 combined with the well known fact she is a crier she felt more like she had a temperature of 104. Thank you for being there and supporting me. BTW if anyone who went to the service came down with the flu this paragraph will self destruct in 5 seconds.
Slim and family drove the 3 hours each way even though they knew the shelve lives of their young children wouldn't let them see a whole lot of anyone but they wanted to show their support for their family and that was greatly appreciated. Their kids are so cute just having them their was uplifting. Slim's wife according to my Dad is more beautiful than ever. Dad has always been a smooth one. I do not disagree with him though, motherhood has treated her very well. Apparently all fatherhood has done for Slim is give him even more gray hair. He was sharply dressed though and as Slim as ever.
BigFoot (BF) and LittleFoot (LF) were there for the service and the get together at my Dad's house. BTW he is 6' 6" and she is 3' 8" or something like that. Okay so she is actually 4' 11" but still the size difference is staggering yet they fit together as well as any couple I know. They also brought Bob. Surprisingly with that name you would think that is their son but that is the name of their new AussieDoodle puppy. Super cute dog and already being trained very well not that is suprising to anyone who knows BF. I never thought LF would let BF name their dog Bob. Solid work BF. Bob was a hit with Czervik's son and the adults as well. People were a tad concerned when BF kept referring to Bob as having to go to this cage but LF assured them he was referring to crate training. I hope she is right. Having the vertically challenged couple there was great. BF has probably spent more time with Trish than any of the homeys and he lost his father to cancer a little over 10 years ago so he understood more than most what I was going through. Sometimes I have no words for how great my friends are to me!
GrapeApe and his wife were there for everything which was great. They are some of the most laid back and fun people you could ever hang around with. GrapeApe will miss Trish in numerous ways as she was the first adult to push beer on him and unfortunately she also witnessed the WittDaddy choreographed Butt Dance. That is right, these are my friends. They are looking forward to my wife and I moving back to New England and even promised to go camping with us this year. We will see if that happens as this is one extremely busy family with a a couple of kids and their own business. Either way it will be great to see more of them.
One of the most entertaining moments for all of us was why a certain person (Czervik) didn't show up for the service due to...ummm....problems with their driving records and the officer who didn't like him doing 40 in a 25. Enough said. The great part was Czervik, the boy and the fiance all showed up for the gathering afterwards. Czervik is pretty funny and his boy is so cute that he can not help be the life of the party. I mean the boy not you Czervik!
My friends being there was a great tribute to how Trish and my Dad treated them and to how strong our friendships are. I want to thank you all. I need to throw in a mention of our boy in Bradenton. He called to offer his family's support knowing that I would be drinking Geary's which I promptly made sure he knew.
I also got to reunite with my cousin Nate who I probably haven't seen in over 20 years. He is a good guy and lucky for us works in a large bike shop. Can you say discount! Unfortunately he also had a run in with the cops last weekend. He left our house at 3:3o AM to go to the airport. I am fairly sure he stopped drinking when I did which was around 10 PM so that hopefully wasn't an issue. Unfortunately he was caught doing 105 on Interstate 95. The speed limit is only 65 and, well, he doesn't have a current license so he was hauled off to jail. I wonder what Trish thinks about all of this. She definitely drove fast but she was able to stay out of trouble. Maybe 105 is too fast?
My sister was a trooper all weekend. She had to plan a lot of the service as I couldn't do much from Miami and Dad was busy with numerous planning activities. She pulled together a lot of the service items including the 2 co-workers who volunteered to coordinate the food. This was no easy feat as we had friends, family and a restaurant all providing the food. That was an amazing gesture by Luanne and Deirdre. Thank you both so much. My sister not only coordinated the drinks and all service items but also managed to get her friend Derrick to play live music. Trish wanted the Beatle's song "In My Life" to be played at her service and Derrick learned the song just for this one playing. To top this all off my sister had to speak in public. Between getting thrown into a pit of snakes and speaking in public it would a be a tough choice for her but she stood up in front of 150 people and read a poem with all the poise of a seasoned public speaker.
Dad was great. He worked hard to put together what Trish wanted and I know he was pleased with the overall tenor of things. He guessed there would be around 150 people attending and he was pretty accurate. He also gets to fill in for Trish at margarita night so that made him pretty happy. He handled himself very well and I know that he truly misses Trish but with so much going on he had to keep it together and he did. He will be ok. It will not be easy but he is tough and unfortunately has been preparing for this for the last few years.
All in all a great tribute to Trish, except for...the Cousin!
Her cousin was supposed to sing the Rose by Bette Midler. She was the last speaker/singer and what we thought was going to be a 30 minute service had already careened well past an hour due to the amount of people who wanted to pay tribute.
How long could singing this song take, 3, maybe 5 minutes? I have read entire works of fiction in less time then it took the crazy cousin to get through this
She read each and every stanza in order to tell us what the words meant to her. Did she forget she was about "sing" each and every stanza? Also this is a well known song and not one that you would generally think of needed translating. It is pretty straight forward. Now if she had related these meanings to Trish that would be one thing but does the following sounds like it is about Trish: (oh yeah she is already 10 minutes in to preaching when she says this)
"I have made many mistakes in my life, I mean big big mistakes. Life changing mistakes bigger than you would ever guess. (At this point I am invested and would like to know what this person has done that is so bad, or at least why we deserve to sit through this.) I made these because "It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance". (Ummm ok. The look on her face actually scared me at this point.) I want you to understand you have to forgive, I man my father was an asshole but I forgave him. Ok wait my father really isn't an asshole that was just an example. I actually love my father very much. (BTW he was there and I the look on his face was, well fairly astounded to put it mildly. With all of the assholes in the world why would you choose your father as an example when he is sitting 25 feet from you. Choose someone none of us know. She clearly has issues with her father that she hasn't dealt with.)
Fifteen minutes of preaching and mind blowing confessions later she finally got around singing the song, which is all Trish wanted her to do. I just hope the experience was as cathartic for the cousin as it was painful for everyone else.
Thank you to everyone for their support.
Friday, April 4, 2008
In Geary's Country to Celebrate an Amazing Person
My step mom passed away recently after a 6 year long battle with cancer. She fought it until the end but after numerous different treatments she had no more fight left in her and the oncologists had no more options. She will be missed by all who knew her and all of our friends and family have been very supportive of me and more importantly of my Dad.
I am in Maine to celebrate her life and not mourn her death as she was an amazing person who was so full of life that she will always be an inspiration for me. She was smart, compassionate, hard working and adventurous. It is still pretty surreal that she isn't around.
Her and my Dad sailed a 36 foot sailboat from Pemaquid Point, Maine to Daytona, FL. They also had their beloved Samoyed named Sam with them. My parents may not have been creative with naming their dogs but they were good sailors and great dog trainers. This dog actually knew the meaning of a poop deck. Enough said. She mountain biked with my sister and I and even after wiping out in some sand and hitting her chin on the handlebars she still kept going. She even wanted to do a keg stand at a Labor Day Birthday Party that was thrown for me and about 8 of my homeys. I was so concerned she would get hurt I overruled her. I know she understood but hopefully didn't hold it against me for robbing her of that little adventure. I am not sure how many tequila shots my Dad handed out that day but I am pretty sure the number was more than enough as anyone who saw the WittDaddy choreographed butt dance can attest to.
So as I am up here celebrating her life I am taking advantage of the trip to Maine to drink Geary's Summer Brew which was recently released. YUMMY! I know my step-mom would approve and I will spend time with a lot of the guys who were at the Labor Day Birthday Party on the near keg stand night and we will all raise a glass for her. Although Grape Ape might not have anything to drink as he always thought she was a pusher. He will be the only one to get that joke but someday I will elaborate on that story. He drinks Shityard anyways so we don't care if he drinks. That party was 12 or 13 years ago but we are still great friends and the guys are like brothers to me. Plus they are older than me which I get to rub in.
I love you and miss you and know you are in a better place. I hope you enjoy looking down upon us tomorrow as we celebrate your life.
I am in Maine to celebrate her life and not mourn her death as she was an amazing person who was so full of life that she will always be an inspiration for me. She was smart, compassionate, hard working and adventurous. It is still pretty surreal that she isn't around.
Her and my Dad sailed a 36 foot sailboat from Pemaquid Point, Maine to Daytona, FL. They also had their beloved Samoyed named Sam with them. My parents may not have been creative with naming their dogs but they were good sailors and great dog trainers. This dog actually knew the meaning of a poop deck. Enough said. She mountain biked with my sister and I and even after wiping out in some sand and hitting her chin on the handlebars she still kept going. She even wanted to do a keg stand at a Labor Day Birthday Party that was thrown for me and about 8 of my homeys. I was so concerned she would get hurt I overruled her. I know she understood but hopefully didn't hold it against me for robbing her of that little adventure. I am not sure how many tequila shots my Dad handed out that day but I am pretty sure the number was more than enough as anyone who saw the WittDaddy choreographed butt dance can attest to.
So as I am up here celebrating her life I am taking advantage of the trip to Maine to drink Geary's Summer Brew which was recently released. YUMMY! I know my step-mom would approve and I will spend time with a lot of the guys who were at the Labor Day Birthday Party on the near keg stand night and we will all raise a glass for her. Although Grape Ape might not have anything to drink as he always thought she was a pusher. He will be the only one to get that joke but someday I will elaborate on that story. He drinks Shityard anyways so we don't care if he drinks. That party was 12 or 13 years ago but we are still great friends and the guys are like brothers to me. Plus they are older than me which I get to rub in.
I love you and miss you and know you are in a better place. I hope you enjoy looking down upon us tomorrow as we celebrate your life.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Moving Back to Geary's Country
My wife and I currently live in Miami and we HATE it! If anyone ever asks you to move here just say NO. Luckily my company wants me to open an office in New England therefore we are moving back to the Boston area where BTW you can get Geary's which is not available in Florida. The state beer of Florida is watered down Yuenling and the state bird, well that was eaten by the state snake.
For those of you who don't know what Geary's is:
Geary's is the best beer ever created, with the possible exception of SlimBeer but that is a subject for a different day. Geary's is not a beer for the faint of heart, nor anyone on a diet. But if you feel the way I do about beer; "Life is too short to drink cheap beer" than Geary's is for you. My buddy who also lives in Florida craves the beer so much that whenever I fly back I bring a 6 pack in my suitcase. A case a year keeps the friendship strong!
We do not know where we will end up yet but it will be somewhere within an hour of Boston and I am looking forward to a lot of cycling with SlimBiker and RAD/Czervik and BigFoot. I am doing a 100k ride to support the American Diabetes Association in early June with those guys which will be the longest ride SlimBiker and BigFoot have ever completed. Wish us luck!
For those of you who don't know what Geary's is:
Geary's is the best beer ever created, with the possible exception of SlimBeer but that is a subject for a different day. Geary's is not a beer for the faint of heart, nor anyone on a diet. But if you feel the way I do about beer; "Life is too short to drink cheap beer" than Geary's is for you. My buddy who also lives in Florida craves the beer so much that whenever I fly back I bring a 6 pack in my suitcase. A case a year keeps the friendship strong!
We do not know where we will end up yet but it will be somewhere within an hour of Boston and I am looking forward to a lot of cycling with SlimBiker and RAD/Czervik and BigFoot. I am doing a 100k ride to support the American Diabetes Association in early June with those guys which will be the longest ride SlimBiker and BigFoot have ever completed. Wish us luck!
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